A
male
age
41-50,
*tretch187
writes:Hi guys, Ive been seeing my girlfreind for about a year now, and a few months back her Ex boyfreind called her up out of the blue and asked her if she was still single. She was with this guy for 4 years, and it ended on good terms she said. So, I only found out he had called her because i saw another missed called form him on her phone one day, so i asked her how often she had been talking to him, she said becasue i got pissed of about when he called last time she has been blanking his calls,. and that the last time she spoke to him she told him to stop rining her becasue shes in a relationship, then she said she hadnt hear nothing since.So I left it at that, and just told her that if he calls again, Id like to know, considering hes asking her if she still has a boyfreind, its quite disturbing.Then the other day we were at home and her phone rang, she looked at it confused and slightly nervous, she then held the phone upto me and she still has his name in her phone and it was him. So, i thought if she wanted to re-assure me shes made things clear to him, she'd answer the phone and tell him infront of me. But she blanked it once more. So now im thinking that they are talking more than she is letting on, considering he sems to call to see if shes with somone, and frankly I have trust issues from a previous relationship and there Ex partner wich ended badly.So when i said it looked suspicious that she wouldnt take the call infront of me her reply was that she made it clear to him and she refuses to take his calls.I like this girl a lot, and she dosnt seem to be giving me any incentive to trust her over this matter, and frankly im at my wits end and have even considerd going through her phone and emails without her knowledge. Has anyone had any experience with this kind of matter? And any advice would be grand, Much appreciated in advance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): I think you answered your own question here with you sentance 'i have trust issues from an ex'...
This girl isn't your ex, just because her ex-boyfriend calls her does not mean she is cheating on you, or is planning on running back to this man. However - if you continue to question her and distrust her, I wouldn't be suprised if she did leave you.
In relationships you have to try to put the past in the past and give each new relationship a clean slate and try to trust someone until they give you a real reason not to.
I am on good terms with my ex, it ended because we weren't right for each other, but there was no anger. So, we are still in contact occassionally, this does not mean that I want to get back together with him, nor him me. It is simply nice to hear that he is doing well and is happy. Your girlfriend didn't answer the phone when she was with you because you got pissed off with her last time he called - so she didnt answer the phone. I am sure that if she had answered the phone you would be on here saying 'she answered the phone to him'. The problem here is your lack of trust, not her taking or not taking the phone call.
I suggest you try to work through this problem and do your best to begin to trust again.
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