| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend constantly lies. She will lie about the smallest, insignificant things and she lies about big things too. I find it very hard to believe what she says anymore. She lied to me about texting other lads and it broke my heart when I found out, to think she could do that to me. She didn't cheat, but I got over it and in some ways made our relationship stronger until I found out she'd lied to me about her past! She didn't tell me; I found out from somebody else. She told me bits but never what I know now! She doesn't understand it's not what she does that hurts me it's the fact that she lies and either I find out myself or somebody else tells me. She hasn't even got the guts to tell me herself. Her past is a big issue in our relationship because she keeps lying about it, changing what she tells me, adding and taking away bits. It's so hard. I didn't want to know anything about her past because it wasn't a concern for me. To be honest I didn't care and it would just cause barriers in our relationship, which it has. I'm finding it hard to deal with and when I try to talk with her about her past, she starts an argument so she doesn't have to confront me about it! I'm getting really worn out by all the lying and I cannot tell her how I feel anymore about anything, whereas before I could tell her anything! I know it's affecting our relationship but she can't see that! We've been together just over 1 year. How can I show her how much she hurts me?
View related questions:
her past, she lies, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): m8 my girl friends the same,we also have been together for 1 year and iv recently found out a lie this morning,it's getting to a point where i dont know what to belive or what to think ,because shes probally telling lies all the time ,,,i think shes a cronic lier,i have told her,but she wont addmit it..if you have to lie to your partner after 1 year,,then can you call that love ?
not really,you dnt lie 2 the people you love...for this recent lie i have found out i have had enough ,,and i will teach her a valuble lesson..because she needs to learn ...i think you need to keep quite to her about it ,,and show her what lieing actally dose and the pain it can cause,,give her some pay-back buddy..or you will have it for aslong as your together ..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007): It's simple you can't change, or cry or try to convince a lier how much they are hurting you... My question to you is why do you put up with that kind of behavior. I don't want to hear you say because I love her or him. You are enabling and saying that lying to you is OK. YOU put up with it. If you are dating a constant lier and you are only in a relationship and not married than again my question to you is why do you put up with such negative, and untrusting behavior? Think about this seriously think about this ...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): I understand where you are coming from... I have lied to the one i love and they aren't talking to me right now... I have issues to work out and i hoe when i get them worked out I can get them to talk to me and we can try again.. Just sit down with her and tell her how you feel and ask her to seek some help and tel her you will go with her...I wish i wouldn't have lied over something small like i did...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2005): I lied to my fiance about my past when we first met and came clean because it hurt too much to lie. Now it's months later and he still hasn't forgiven me and is considering breaking off our engagement. Maybe she's scared now that she's in too deep.. Help her understand your point of view and don't be afraid to forgive
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2005): lying is a sickness.....the constant liar is like the alcohoic, unable to stop!! the lying is compulsive--the person is unable to stop (without professional help) no matter what they try....... the compulsive liar needs lotsa help..if you know someone like this get him/her to a good therapist or cut your losses.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2005): I just wanted to say that i'm in a similar situation as your girlfriend ...I have lied to my boyfriend about my past and this is a big barrier in our relationship I would recommenf for you to sit down with her and tell her how you feel about this and get professional help because lying is a big issue..and she needs help and i'm pretty sure she sees this just that maybe she doesnt know where to start...actually my partner and i are going to go to a professional to get help...good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2005): From my experience, communication is probably the most important factor within a relationship. The fact that your girlfriend lies at all is a huge issue and it needs to stop. How can you trust her on bigger issues that may come to the forefront in the future should she continue to lie? Your girlfriend may have issues that contribute to her inability to tell the truth from her past such as family history, etc. If you care enough, you can help her delve into this with professional help, however, you need to sit down with her and let her know that this cannot continue. A good base to any relationship involves open, honest communication. good luck
Irish
...............................
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (22 August 2005):
 My honest opinion is this...Lies destroy a relationship. Totally. There is no excuse for it unless you are saving a life or something. I lost the one person I love by a silly lie and I would never do that again in life. YOu are never going to know when she is tellin the truth even if she says so. My advice is this...she can't be honest about her past or anything..cut your losses now. Loving someone who is a liar is emotionally draining and if affects your relationship now and your relationships later..save yourself the stress of playing true or false.
...............................
A
female
reader, nicky22 +, writes (22 August 2005):
i don't really have any advise but i just wanted you to know that you are not alone i am in a similar situation my boyfriend lies to me about texting other girls. he says that he loves me but he told me he had stopped texting them but then i find a message or a phone call either from them or to them. ifeel like i am going mad and that he doen't even consider my feelings. i can't understand why he won't stopif he loves me as much as he says he does. ireally hope you figure thing out
...............................
|
