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male
,
anonymous
writes: i started a relationship with a girl that has already got a boyfriend. her boyfriend is in another country and it is going to stay like that for over a year. it started a few months ago, and we tried to ignore our feelings and just be friends. but couldn't and since then it has got very serious and we see eachother every day and haven't spent a night apart hardly. but every now and again she feels very quilty and we try to stop seeing eachother, but we can't and so get back together. i would like her to end it with the boyfriend altogether, so we can be happy. Anyway it all came to a head recently when he came to visit for a weekend. i was in emotional turmoil over the two days. when he left we meet up straight away, but didn't discuss the situation. the next day she told me she had broken up with him because she didn't want to or actually kiss him while he was here. i was very happy. but then she said we should stop seeing eachother irrespective of our feelings because then it would be better, as i could find some one else and she could get back with him. confused? me too! so since then it has continued in much the same way. she says she doesn't know what to do because she is worried it's just the distance between her and her boyfriend which is making their relationship bad. but then in the same breath she says she does love me and doesn't love him. what should i do because i don't want it to continue like this? i want us to have a future together! please please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): sounds like she is tryin to be faithfull to you, she does care about you and doesnt want to hurt you..she maybe feelin sorry for you..if she needs someone else, you probably are not giving her the love she is after, or at the same time, trying to make you jealouse so you will wake up and give her that love she is lookin for from you..be open with her show her you can talk about everything and anything..it works for me
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Give her an ultimatum, she is playing with you and you are letting her, has she really finished with the boyfriend or is she just telling you this.
Tell her that you want a full on relationship with her and that this half hearted commitment is not for you, tell her you have played it her way for long enough and now she must choose, you or him.
Stop sleeping with her until she tells you which way it is going to be, then if she does not choose you, then please do not keep sleeping with her, break up and move on.
If she chooses you then at least you know she is committed.
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