A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey guyz. i hav a friend whose boyfriend is always beating her up. he always turns aggressive when asked about his suspicious behaviour and ends up beating her. it breaks my heart to see her like that, probably coz i have been developing feelings for her lately. the thing is she loves him so much to let him go. how do i tell her that the guy is a jerk and she should leave him without breaking her hurt not that i want to use this chance to get her, its just that i care sooooo much about her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010): I am in the same boat my friend and i are both fifteen and her boyfriend whom is three years older then her is the exact copy of his older brother who raped my friend and now she and him are together so much it makes me sick. I cant talk to her without getting a threat from him. My advice for your friend is that maybe you could find another guy that likes her thats sweet and would not lay a hand on her to go out with her and then if her bf trys to stop her from leaving call the cops a year in prison will make her and you feel better. Or i hate to say this but maybe tell her parents. But thats a last resort. If you dont like any of those other ideas have a bunch of her friends and you get together and have an 'intervention'. The last one is what we had to do when my friend was in an abusive relationship If you would like to talk to me just email me at [email address blocked] i may be a little younger but i understand exactly how you feel.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni hate to say it but luck z not on my side thz tyme. the gal z nw cool wth the bf n she suddenly started avoing me 2dyz ago, mayb she nw sees me z a destruction to her life. ol i want to do now z forget about ths gal, wat do u think? well,i guess life z not always swit n rosy. thanx though, i appreciate yr advice, ol of it
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 I will never understand why women stay in an abusive relationship. I tell you....one hit and I am GONE!
But anyway, if taking her aside and talking to her one-on-one doesn't work, crazy idea, but maybe take pictures of her face (or where her abusive marks show) and then show her the pictures, she will then SEE what he is doing to her? If that doesn't work, get other people involved, like her parents or the police because she has to get out of this relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): I understand the fact that you're developing feelings for your friend, but it may not be a good idea to invoke your feelings for her right now considering the ways that things are going with her boyfriend. I hate to say this, but it sounds like she's going to have to learn the hard way. Some women are used to being treated the way that they are and won't see it any other way. You would wonder what would make a person want to be treated like that, but everyone has a different personality and if that's all that they're around, they're not going to know another way to accept someone except for the way that they're getting treated at the present time.
You can't make her see sense because no person should try to make another person change. What you can do is somehow show her what he's doing is wrong and convince her that there is something better out there for her. Make her feel comfortable about herself first of most things and then gradually express your feelings for her.
She's probably feeling as if she doesn't want to be alone and by staying with him, she has just become comfortable.
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A
female
reader, jroe +, writes (5 March 2010):
She is not going to leave he until she feels she has done all that she can to stop his abusive behavior or until he really hurts her bad. Many women are raise to beleive they can help the men they love by staying by their sides, which is generally a good thing, but when a men continues to use violent to control the behavior of the woman he says he loves the men needs to get help in the form of counseling or angry management classes, tell the lady who u like this the next time she comes to you after a abusive session with he boyfriend: After he tells you how sorry he is and before you go back tell him to get counseling first, because one of the neighbor hear you and say they are going to call the police next time and I don't want you to go to jail because I love you. If he refuses to get help for his problem she needs you to love her enough to tell her family and friends so they can save her life, now you may lose her as a friend, but you will save her from a man who is out of control and does not want to change. What most people don't understand is abusers are very nice people when they are not trying to control the others or no one would stay with them. Tell her you need her to survive even if that means you will be mad at me. Nobody say love was easy, it always hurts
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