A
male
age
30-35,
*ride
writes:Hey all, so any help on this issue I'm having will be much appreciated. I have no clue what to do anymore.So, this is relatively going to be a long story. My freshman year (I'm now a senior) I met a girl who was a senior at that time. Me and her hit it off great, but it never amounted to anything, because I was too shy to ask her out or anything like that. Well in the 4 years I've known her, we've been on and off between being best friends to being in week long arguments to not talking for months, and back around, haha. The arguments have always started when she falls through for our plans and I always over react and say things that I really shouldn't. Well, we just had one of those arguments two days ago and we're talking again and she was complaining about how "her life is falling apart." Her boyfriend of a little over a year, who is stationed overseas in the military, all the sudden started threatening her about breaking up.I didn't really think it through, but I immediatley saw opportunity. I asked her to just hang out, although the place we are going is a really romantic place, like horse drawn carriages through snow type of stuff. Should I just try to keep it as friends, or should I try to take advantage of this night? I don't really think that "take advantage" is a good wording of what I mean, I just can't think of another way to say it.I can't decide. Her current boyfriend is actually a really good guy and she really likes him and I don't want to ruin anything that may be left.Also, I have never dated, while she has dated more guys than I could possibly imagine. I've had a few girls that have been interested in me or vice versa, I just never put effort into relationships that I don't think will work out, because I know of them cheating in the past, being overbearing, etc... I realise this was pretty long, but someone give me some advice. The only reason I never asked her out before was because of the age gap (18 for me, 21 for her), but it doesn't seem like too big a deal anymore.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): Scumbag thing to do? Yeah.
But lots of young women would reward you more for being a scumbag than a nice respectful guy in this situation.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2012):
 If you try and "take advantage" you will lose. You will get "used" as a rebound.
She needs to work things out or end it with her BF overseas - you REALLY don't want to end up in the middle of THAT drama.
And honestly, it's a kinda scumbag move to think that it's OK to hit on a girl who is this vulnerable.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): Do NOT take advantage of that night. Wait. Wait to see if she sorts it out with her boyfriend and then if she does then it's your loss but if she doesn't then you can be there to pick up the pieces and what not. She could blame you for them breaking up if you act now and that would ruin it for you..Good luck!
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