A
male
age
30-35,
*uickhelper
writes:so, this girl, we are best friends. we pretty much tell eachother everything. i love her, she loves me, and we care alot about eachother.well, stuff has been changing between us. we like eachother and we both know bc we have talked about it. the only hitch in us getting together is that she simply doesn't want a boyfriend right now. she says it is to much work. another thing. i was about to have study date with a different girl..and she flipped and got all upset and i cancelled it because i hate making her upset, but im pretty sure she was jealous..she even admitted to kinda being jealous.how can i change her feelings about having a boyfriends and then maintaining a good and healthy relationship?thanks to anyone who answers for there time
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Her saying that she doesn't want a boyfriend right now is just an excuse. If I liked a guy enough to want him to be my boyfriend I would never say I don't want a boyfriend right now.
And her getting jealous...it doesn't mean that she likes you. It just means that she likes the attention you give her and that she likes the fact that you like her.
What you need to do is to back off from her a little bit. Go out and make friends with other girls, set up study dates with anyone you want. Don't let her dictate what you do. In time she will either come to you or will realize that she doesn't really like you in that way.
But having said all that, I also notice that you're quite young, and I assume she's about your age. It could be possible that she's scared of getting into a relationship because it would mean certain things which she might not be ready for.
It's as if she doesn't really want you but she also doesn't want you to have anyone else. She needs to make her mind up. Talk to her and tell her that unless you know what she wants, you need to move on and meet other girls.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): You're in the dreaded friend zone. Go find a girl that doesn't just want to be friends and your life will get a whole lot better and whole lot less stressful.
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