A
male
age
41-50,
*nonymaus
writes:My girlfriend has recently been diagnosed as being allergic . . . to nearly everything. In fact, when she asked the doctor for a list of everything she is allergic too, his answer was it would be easier to give her a list of what she isnt allergic too. We have been together for nearly 3 years. For the most part of that I was always clueless why she reacts so excessively to things like why I havent done the washing up. I hate to admit it, but this has and still does create a lot of tension and fighting between us. I can often become abusive, aggressive and irrational. Something I'm not very proud of. I love my girlfriend a lot. There really is no-one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with. But nothing I do seems to help. Every time I think we may be getting somewhere we have another massive fight that puts us both back at square one. She started immunotheorpy last week, we have been fighting every day since. I don't really have anyone I can turn too for advice. Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (22 January 2008):
 Hmmm, last time I checked being allergic to things like wheat flour, dustmites, or other irritants has nothing to do with your g/f jumping your butt for not folding the towels correctly, or in your case washing up. What I would ask is this: Does she have a specific reaction to certain foods, detergents, soaps, or irritants such as smoke, hairsprays or things that can be inhaled and cause sneezing fits etc? Usually allergies consist of sneezing because of pollens, or smoke, dust etc. This can be uncomfortable because the sinus passages become clogged and you feel pressure in your head, thus causing someone to become grouchy and more irritable because they can't breathe well. Okay, little things like you not washing up could cause her to be more irritable than normal. Maybe. If she's allergic to certain foods, the problem will most likely present itself in the form of stomach irritation, gas, excessive pooping, nausea and so forth. Some food allergies present nothing more than mild bloating. The theory is, if you eliminiate the irritants you relieve some of the symptoms. Also be aware that people can test positive for food allergies and never have any symptoms. I once got tested because a friend of mine was in the medical profession and I volunteered to be her guinea pig. I have never been allergic to anything in my life, but my test came back showing I was "allergic" to flour, milk, eggs, you name it. I thought it was all a bunch of baloney (no pun intended) because I can eat those things without any problems. In your g/f's case she may be experiencing extreme symptoms related to her allergies. I don't know. It's different for every person. It may be that your g'f is worried that when faced with a serious medical condition, can she count on you to be there for her? This whole allergy problem could be causing her to think about bigger things, and be more sensitive than usual. Log on to the web and find out what you can about her problem. Maybe if she feels you understand what she's going through, she'll lighten up a bit. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): i know one boy who is allergic to almost everything too. he is even allergic to tap water... but he 's got very strong personality and never show his stress or pain to others.
i think your girlfriend has to learn how to be stronger and live with her allergy, but you, as a boyfriend, have to learn how to take care of her and cope with her health condition! i can't believe you get your stress out on her and be abusive....
i really hope her allergy gets better, but instead of stressing yourself out, you can learn about her allergy and maybe try to learn what helps to relieve the symptom?
i understand how frustrated you can get.... but never be abusive!!! that is wrong!!!
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