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Her actions speak louder than her words but does she want to get back together?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 November 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, *usty writes:

So my ex and I broke up about a month ago. It got pretty ugly and ended with name calling ect. I left her. We went a week without talking and she finally contacts me. She tells me she's over me and tthanks for making me a stronger person. Well a.few nights later we talk a llittle bit and I bring up our relationship that we had and if we could.rekindle that. She's says no. Its your fault I wish j could say sorry. I wonder and think about you, but I don't miss you. I don't see you romantically anymore. I don't reply and the next time k receive a text asking if we could.be friends. I thought about and the next day I said sure maybe we can work something out. Then she says she has mixed emotions about me. I don't say anything and mention getting together she says ok ive been thinking about you a lot and kinda miss you but you aren't suppose to know that. The next day she says she doesn't want to see me and would only do it for.me because I said I missed her. I just said nevermind. A week later we meet up. We talk and she's all Smiley and everything trying to hide it when I say something to her. She says she doesn't think she ever loved me and how she hates me. I said you don't mean that your mad and whatnot. Then I walk her to her car I joke and be like can I get a kiss so she actually does kiss me. I make plans to meet her again the next day for lunch she says maybe and we meet up. We talk she's more happy than usual seeing me and she talks about her breast showing me where something is telling me to feel and her butt as well. And makes sexual referneces aboit us. oh and the day before she said no touching. And finally this morning she tells me to pick something up from.the.grocery store because she has tno money but has to go to the bank which is down the freaking rode... and she's like meet me up there at the store. So we hang out once again and everything is great she's smiling laughing. And broke no contact and is like your an asshole bit your cute and patted me. She kept saying how I was so annoying too at the same time. For no reason we were standing in line. After that we talk the next morning and she goes on saying the exact same stuff. You know I don't feel anything for you. I asked why she been trying to see me then and she replies unwanted to see if the feelings were there. They aren't. She said she wants to move on but doesn't want to lose me as a friend. I'm like ok. I don't believe you tell Me do you want to try and rekindle our relationship or let it completely be dead? She avoided it as much as she could. Saying I don't want you hurt. I finally.got.to say she doesn't want to rekindle it. I said ok enjoy your trip this morning:-). She's like ill try. Then ten minutes later she's like ok ill give you another chance but like I said I don't want you. I just don't want you feeling the pain I did no one deserves that. I asked so its just a potty case huh? She said kinda. I'm like what's the other reason and she said she really doesn't know. Later that evening I replied and said ok either we'll stay friends or we can give this another shot and I prove myself ect. She avoided answering it but finally said. I don't know which I want. I said you have mixed emotions and feelings once your not annoyed with me we need to meet up and talk this all out. She just said yeah.

Now I've tried rationalize everything and even break apart everything. Her actions speak differently tthan her words. But if she wanted me she would admit to it and get back right? So what's the deal? Some help would be greatly appreciative.

View related questions: broke up, get back together, money, move on, my ex, text

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A female reader, OnWeGo Canada +, writes (16 November 2012):

It seems like she's messing with your head. You seem like an great person with a big heart find another with that

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (16 November 2012):

sugarplum786 agony auntHi, Take a break from the relationship. You can tell her out right the friendship thing is not doing it for you and she is either in or out of love with you. Tell her When she decides she wants a relationship she knows where to find you and there is no guarantees you will still be single.

You cannot continue like this or she will have messed up your mind in the next couple of weeks.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012):

Some females Just like being an itch.. And I'm very sorry to say that what's she being.

Move on let her go .. For if she does have feelings she will chase you, don't play second fiddle or any kinda fiddle for anyone..

You have tried and its not working.. You can see that..

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (16 November 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony auntGusty,

I have to admit that I didn't finish reading it (it was too painful).

You are not getting the whole message. For some reason some girls think that sex is a casual activity, but love is real. Most guys on the other hand think that sex is an expression of love, and all other expressions of love are done in order to get sex. Your ex has plainly told you that she doesn't love you, but she is willing to have sex with you.

Many foolish people will accept this half relationship called "friends with benefits". They tie up their life in an unfulfilling quest for pleasure and keep themselves from any possibility of a real, complete relationship.

Do yourself and her a favor and stop talking to her. Do you really want to be her toy?

FA

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