A
male
age
30-35,
*tupidNerd
writes:So hello, im someone on the internet :P andI have a problem. I have been on here before but things have changed/stayed the same. Anyhow, I have social anxiety disorder, just found out 2 weeks ago and it is at a high level andlike anyone with social anxiety disorder I have problems with socialising.I cant talk to people one on one unless we are talking about something I love thats mainly games. other than that all I can do when it comes to socialising is be a part of a grup putting in the acational comment every 5 mins. I just cant think of things to say in a conversation and this is leading onto another problem.m in love, This wonderful friend of mine, I love everything about her but I cant ask her out. Im 16 and have never had a girlfriend or even come close. Im a fucken retard when it comes to relationships.It is just not pssable to have a conversation with people because I just cant think of things to say. half the time what I say is inapropriet. WTF am I to do!?!?! I real wish to be with hr but I just cant bring myself to ask her out and even if I did what would I do? Dinner, I canttalk an we will just end up in scilence. Movies I would just end up after the film being orquid. I just cant be social WHAT CAN I DO?!?!?!
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (2 November 2010):
First off...Put down the games, and read...Books, news papers, watch the discovery chanel...all that. You will at least have something other than games to talk about. That is itself will give you confidence when people start talking.
Sometimes...it is better just to listen to people, and learn.
Anyone can talk, but it's what you say that counts.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 Social anxiety disorder is a fear (to the point of avoidance) of social situations. I am not sure that is what you are feeling. It seems that you just don't know what to say when you get to social settings. I would add that lots of people struggle at parties and social gatherings to make 'polite conversation' about trivia (me included!!!). I can tell that you are a bright young man but you obviously have self confidence issues. The girl of your affections has obviously challenged your view of yourself. By this I mean you are hyper-critical of yourself now because you think you cannot be with her in a romantic sense. I think you must be a good person as she at least wants to be your friend. I think if you struggle to talk then you need to think about widening your social interests. Frankly if computer games are your thing then get off the internet and find real groups of enthusiasts in your community - conferences, gatherings etc. You have to remember that it is OK to be a geek - geeks run the world! There are women out there in the world who adore geek-men because they are intelligent, sensitive, loyal souls. Once you have built up confidence talking about safe topics like games then you could move onto new hobbies and interests. If you could find something both you and your girl-mate like to do then bingo! If you really think you have social anxiety disorder then see a doctor. There are specific treatments for this. However, as a first step I think you need to see if you can change on your own. I should add that from the way you write there are strong signs that you have dyslexia. This condition can make written and verbal communication rather more difficult than for non-dyslexic people. It can influence your concentration and ability to get the words out spontaneously. I have dyslexia and I do get rather tongue-tied on a bad day (ok well most days in fact!). You can get help with this and I think you should be tested for it. It may help you to understand why you are acting the way that you are. Good luck!
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