A
female
age
36-40,
*avhez
writes:I met someone on holiday who is a bit older then me like 12 years older and sort of has a girlfriend I know bad idea, anyway it was just a friendship thing at first but I really started to like him and well he likes me too. So back in UK and now he has just finished with his girlfriend - don't think it was really anything to do with me, they had problems but, because I don't know her it's hard to know if this is the truth but I know some of his mates and they asked me if I knew he finished with her, which I did. My problem is that well I don't know where I am in this situation, we talk online and text and phone but I haven't met him since the holiday which was like only a week and half ago, we were going to met this Friday but because she is moving out, that's not likley to happen. I said to him I was going to Wales in a couple of weeks and that I wanted him to come too and he said he will try now he says he will go. I am still a bit confused, any ideas of whereabouts I may stand in all this? My head is pretty dizzy from the pass few days.oohh yea and our talks are not just friendship ones!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 February 2009):
 Whoa there! What's the rush, what's the worry here? You've met a new man, that's good, he had a girlfriend, that's bad. He's broken up with her, that's good, but you don't know if that is for certain, that's bad.
So you're having talks that are not "just friendship" ones, so you're pretty hot and heavy with him? He certainly has turned your head, hasn't he?
Okay, deep breath, stop, relax, breathe. If he really really likes you, there's no rush. Truly. So ease up and try to pay attention, don't let the crush mess up your logical thinking quite so much.
Another thing to keep in mind is that a guy that has just broken up with a live-in girlfriend is a guy who is on the rebound. He may have some issues still to hammer out with her, they have a history, they likely have mutual friends.
So if I were you, I'd back off a bit, spend a good deal of time watching and listening and less time dreaming and imagining. Don't try to put a label on your relationship wih him just yet, learn to live with that uncertainty.
If he's pushing you for sex, I'd definitely back off, as it's early days yet. What's the rush? Get to know him a bit, let him take you out on dates. Let him chase you a little, make him earn time with you, earn your interest.
And enjoy those heady days of 'crushing' on a new love interest. Just remember that being sensible about it will save you a lot of heartache if he winds up to be on the rebound or goes back to his girlfriend. Or worse, if you find out he's not really split up....
Good luck!
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