A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:me and my fiance were together for 3 years...we have been having alot of issues lately..he brings out the worst in me it seems..we havent spent a actual weekend together lately bc he gets on my nerves and when i dont give him attention he gets in my face and trys to throw little things like socks or qtips at me and be silly to get my attention...i will be ready for bed like at 2am n he is still wide awake saying wake up and throwing stuff at me being wierd..i dont even like when he is around me anymor bc we used to live together and now that we dont i realize how much he drives me nuts..he has ocd so he complains about my house and my dishes and the way i cook and keep my place..i am super clean too..He doesnt ever seem to care unless we have sex and i am sick of it..he never has time for me and he is either workin,at college or gym and he will squeeze in a couple hours 2 times a week to visit..he doesnt call me,just text and always accusing me of being with other guys..im loyal thou..He has recently got in a argument with me and tried holding my hands down so i couldnt leave argument..i have kids and he never invites us to do stuff on the weekends.me and the kids never get taken anywhere bc he doesnt ever wana do stuff with us...he just sleeps in till 12 and then will txt and not invite to do anything..he looks at porn all day and doesnt even let me look at his computer without him deleting all history.he is super self absorbed and selfish and doesnt do anything nice or sweet to show me love..my friends invite me places so i go and he gets pissed off and says that im gona go off and be a whore with my friends which im not,he doesnt like for me to go anywhere with any of them and their good friends..so i am at my wits end and cant keep this up...im so miserable that on christmas n new years i didnt wanna be around eachother bc im so over the bs.please advise what i should do..his immaturity is making me go crazy..the man doesnt let me sleep when im tired..doesnt want me to eat certain foods cus he thinks im gona get fat and tries to control me having friends...i need advice please.everytime i end it with him he bothers me and doesnt leave me alone or let me go...he says im his love of his life but i just dont feel it anymore.he verbally abuses me way too much and im afraid it has put a unfixable void in between us and i hold alot of resentment towards him..should i move on and leave him in the dust..
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): My best friend was married to a man that was abusive like this to her. I am afraid this man is far to controlling and abusive, please leave him. It doesn;t matter how you manage to leave him, just please leave him. This kind of relationship is unhealthy and it only gets worst. Take care of yourself. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (18 January 2012):
 I got about halfway through your post and I couldn't take anymore. Dump him. Dump him now. Don't wait for the 'right moment'. Don't even bother waiting to do it in person. In fact it's probably better if you don't do it in person because he'll just hold your arms at your sides until you agree to stay.
Please just dump him.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (18 January 2012):
 Well, I think the sensible thing to do is to break up with him. Find someone who doesn't act like a kid. That's about all you can do. You don't have to tell him what you think. Just avoid him for a few months till he gets the message that it's over. You might have bitten off more than you can chew with this relationship.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (18 January 2012):
 For heavens' sake, everything you're telling us about this man is extremely negative! He seems not to have any redeeming features AND he's controlling, and abusive.
Since you don't live with him any more, I recommend you get a new set of keys made for your home so he can't just come in and bother you whenever he feels like it. Change your phone number (home and mobile) and block him. If he DOES manage to call you the second you realize it's him tell him he is not to contact you ever again; it's over, and then disconnect. Change your email address; block him on Facebook; don't hang out at places he's likely to be.
If he comes round to your workplace, then speak to your boss about your "unwelcome visitor" You might think about getting a restraining order if he insists on trying to get in touch with you - ESPECIALLY if he's going to be verbally or physically abusive.
The guy sounds like a monumental pest.
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