A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i m in LDR for the last three years..... we deeply madly inlove with eachother.... sumthing happened 2 years ago that created lots n lots of troubles for both of us ... and eventually we had to get departed cuz NOW our families would nt let us get together ever again....but love was so strong that we could nt resists and we could not move on and we got back together but with a COMPROMISING Adjustment abut future that we know we are not going to be married ever ...but we are with each other till the sum miracle happens or destiny allow us.... NOW we are more open in communications and we are more intimate...... we discuss our problems and we plan to meet each other and when we meet Passion and Romance is at peak.........we never get enough of each other... since we are in LDR, so we keep chatting thru mobile messenger almost 5 hours a day during our office timings and we take daily reports of eachother's time and deep interest od everything... and honestly speaking its all more from my guy....( the problem that would not let us get married also had arisen from his family, he had to surrender and accept to let his love for me go n he had faced extreme humiliation and pressure as well).........now the issue is that he deliberately holds his emotions back and avoids being very lovy dovy ...when i complain he says if i start doing the same, we will end up getting extremely emotional so we would suffer in future when ultimately we would be departed.....but that makes me insecure and i fight with him ..then he assures me of his love and another thing is he gets annoyed if i asks questions abt feelings or emotional aspect of some actions or any emotional question.he asks me not to ask these questions ...for example i ask : ur with me because u love me or its just ur guilt??nad it pisses him off...and my baby says he all the time feels that i m nt by his side although i assures him .... he says he feels that i judge him and put him under accountability ...although i just asks him emotionally deep questions cuz i want to assure that he loves me deeply ( as he claims),,,,,, but he says he feels i put him in court.......... and its been two weeks now we almost daily fight and he says ok i m leaving.... then next day he comes to chat again.... i m very upset abt my behavior ... i know i pisses him off...i bleieve that he loves me truly ... but since i get insecure because i knw we dont have future together now... i keep on asking questions and he says u touch my wounds which are yet open and nt healing.....i dnt know wat do i do? my babay gets verrry disappointed and let down and then he yells at me..... i dnt want this at all.... i just emailed him and asked to forget everything lets be lovers again .... but i know i will apologize and after two days i will do the same ...thats just my insecurity..... and i keep doing wat he hates.... wat shud i do
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (3 June 2011):
 Hi, It seems that the stress of you two being apart and the fact that your families won't allow you to be together is causing greatest disharmony between the two of you. No doubt you love each other tremendously, but the distance is affecting you. I get the sense that if you two were to disobey your parents and be together, that the consequences would be quite serious for you both.You are from Saudi Arabia and I know the customs over there for disobedience of parents etc are very traditional and grave. My suggestion, as difficult and heart wrenching as this would be would be to slow distance yourself from your boyfriend if being together affects your life in such a serious way. You both need to come to terms with the fact that you cannot be together, unless as you say...a miracle happens.I don't think you would like to see any harm come to him..and he would not like to see any harm come to you...so ease yourself out of this relationship..for the sake of both of you. Time heals all wounds...it is hard...but I think it is for the best.
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