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*onfusedmommy
writes: I am a 20yr old mother of one eight month old.My boyfriend works all the time and mostly has interest only for his son when he visits us.I thought I had lost interest in sex till I was told by a guy that I worked with that he was attracted to me.I had a crush on him for some time but suppressed my feelings becaus of my bf and son.Nontheless we had sex together and that complicated things because I love my bf very much and my son even more but I fell in love with the guy.I know that it is better to break it off with him and work on my relationship of 5 yrs but he excites me in a way my bf doesnt and i love sex with him and i dont want to hurt his feelings though he knew i was in a relationship when he met me.What kind of person am I to cheat on my bf?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (28 April 2006):
 Well I tend to agree with Lisa. There is obviously huge problems in your relationship with your bf that you have not faced up to. Your way of dealing with it wasnt the best or the most commendable but what we do doesnt always define who we are, thankfully. We all make mistakes and stray from what is properly 'right' at times and thats what you have just done, that doesnt make you necessarily a bad person, it makes you human and to be human is to be flawed.
Your choices are pretty simple; you have to break it off with one of them, it is the only correct thing to do. Either you break it off with this new guy and work on your relationship with your bf or you break it off with your bf. Or you break it off with both. What you do is really up to you but having made the mistake its not fair to continue making it; either road is a hard one and there are no easy options now. If you do you will find your self-esteeem plummeting and it will only hurt everybody involved more. Hope that helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2006): i think you really need to think about how much your bf means to you, could you see your life without him? what would you feel like if he comes around to see your son with a new gf? try to heat up your sex life, catch him out the blue when your out with him theres no harm in having sex outdoors.Try new things!! it makes things exciting. i have a 12month old son and the worse thing i could think of doing to him is taking his daddy away from him. think about your son !!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2006): How selfish. Your boyfriend is out working like a dog so that he can provide for his girlfriend and their child and you are off banging some guy at work? I'll never understand you people. As for the question at the end of you're paragraph, I would say very selfish, extremely inconsiderate and pretty slutty too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2006): [sigh] Great, another one of these...
You know what? I suggest you leave your bf. Save him some dignity. Of course, definitely give him rights to your son. I'm not going to say anything more. Seems like the world continues to churn out sluts who just go for the exciting banging action. Somehow, we have to find a way to exile all these dishonorable people. The moon maybe? [shakes head]
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female
reader, chachacha +, writes (28 April 2006):
you are a person who has not faced up to the fact that you are not getting on that well with your bf
he is the father to your son and you don't live together? and he just visits?
finish with him, grow up, find yourself, look after your child, and then later think about a new relationship
good luck
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female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (28 April 2006):
 well by the sounds of things the relationship with your current bf of 5 years is not going so well, im sure if you two were communicating, sharing values and having an active sex life then you would not be cheating, 5 years is along time to be together, there must of been something that made you start looking else where, maybe you were lonly? bored with sex? not in love with your bf? im not sure of your reasons of cheating but you certainly took the easy way out by not fixing and working on your relationship with your bf. over all you need to come clean, your in love with this other man, its not like its just a one nite stand that your bf could maybe have forgiven you for, its more then that now its turned into a relationship, even if you did break it off with this other man your heart and feelings are going to be with him anyway. you need to tell your bf , it won't be nice but the true needs to be told, its your bf's choice if he wants to continue to be with you but only if you want to be with him and him only and prove to him that your trustworthy, or if you can't you need to leave him and be honest with him. staying wiht your bf for the child sake is not the best idea either, children will notice what is going on and it will effect them more then if you where to leave your bf.
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