A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have currently been in a LDR with my boyfriend for the last 8 months. We struggled but we made it work.Yesterday he moved back to my home town, and we had a great night.. I finally remembered why I loved him.The long distance was making the feelings fade, but lastnight brought them alive all over again.Well today I had to work until eight, I had called my boyfriend around five, to asked him if we were still going to do something after work, he said yes and that he would meet me, and to call him.After work I called him, and told him to meet me at nine. I showed up at nine at the place we were suppose to meet, and he didn't show.I went home and called him, and he repiled how he didn't wanna go out, and he thought that if he didn't show up, I would just walk to his house. (his house isn't the far)I told him no, that he made to meet me, and he said he would. I was about to walk out the door when he told me just come to my house, we got into a big fight.The fight wasn't even about him meeting me, it wasn't that big of a deal to walk to his house. It's the fact that he told me he would meet me and he didn't. He just doesn't understand why I am so upset.He told me he would call me tomorrow, and I said no don't ever call me again. I then called him back a couple hours later, and the fight was still continuing. I apologized and he said, "No you said we were over" and I was like, "No I didn't" blah blah blah and I was like, "So does this mean we are over" and he's like, "Well isn't that what you want?"I haven't talked to him since then, but are we over? I am so confused about this, as the fight turned out so little and led to us breaking up.. will he call me? or should I call him? if so, how long should I wait?This ruined my whole night and couldn't even enjoy myself.. I don't want my whole summer to be like this.Please tell me what this guy is thinking!!
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (27 June 2009):
 No you aren't over but if you want to have this relationship go the distance you both have to be a little more mature and open about your communications.
I am sure you know now that your anger burst where you said "it's over" was wrong but realize he is hurt and he responded to a 12 year old as a 12 year old.
Let him calm down and both of you need to have a heart to heart about why you felt he was in the wrong...without making him go on the defensive. For instance, use I statements not you. "I was concerned when you didn't show up, I wish you would have called or texted me about your "change of plans", that is why I was upset. I apologize for lashing out in anger, that was wrong."
Then see how he responds. Realize he is hurt right now and trying to make you feel bad.
It's not over but if the two of you don't learn how to communicate as adults, the relationship will suffer.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): Hmm I'm sure he's just mad so give it some time. I don't rly know what he was thinking but maybe a day or 2 when you have calmed down as well. I'm sure he doesnt get why you are mad, seems pretty think headed so when you are calmed, you can break it down for him.
...............................
|
