A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So i can a little confused. I dated this guy before i left for college for 3-4 years and broke his heart because i was being selfish and he wanted to follow me to school.Now i am moving back intown, and want to catch up. I dont really know many people here anymore. He is 5 years older than me. Over the years weve kept in contact sorta, text here and there and dinner every once in a while, a year ago being the most recent. Anyhow recently i have been trying to catch up and hes been strange but slowly began responding to me again. Turn out, his friend told me he has a gf, which he didnt tell me. And now that he said we will catch up with me, i asked him who he lived with when we were talking on the phone for the first time in a year and he was reluctant to say that he lives with his gf. I believe he said theyve only been dating for 4 months, but i could be wrong. Well, i was like does ur gf know your talking to me because i dont want to cause drama. And he was like ya she knows. I even was like you sure she knows we may meet up. He said yes. I am wondering why he never told me, because i would of never bothered him as much as i have if i knew he has a gf. On top of that why was he reluctant and even ignored my questions of who he lives with .. in the past?? I dont get it, if he would of told me, i would have backed off. So does she really know and why is he so weird...
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (16 June 2008):
 So it's been 5 years since you two were dating. Maybe he simply didn't want you to know about his new girlfriend. Not to mention that there was a 6 month gap between your last face-to-face and him starting to date this other girl. Perhaps he's just trying to let you be who you are and express yourself. I had an ex-girlfriend call me on a semi-regular basis and after getting pressure from my girlfriend at the time, I finally asked "Why are you calling me?" She didn't really have an answer. I told her that it was causing tension in my current relationship (it was even a little strange because she was married too). From my point of view, it wasn't a big deal -- my ex-girlfriend who's married and living 2 (big) states away was calling. It wasn't like I was going to cheat on the current girlfriend with her...
Anyway, at my girlfriend's request, I called it quits and asked her not to call. So, in reality, she may not actually know you're calling/texting/whatever. I would say that he may not have informed her of who you really are (like he may not have said you were an ex).
Bottom line, tread lightly here. You might want to back away from this whole thing gracefully.
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