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female
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anonymous
writes: hi, Im 22 and ive been with my boyfriend 26 for a year and a half. Recently he has decided that he wants to go travelling for a year and he says if he likes it he might stay longer. We have a really good relationship but I think this has made me really insecure recently. He wants me to go over and meet him and live together which is fine but i wont be able to do it for a few months after he leaves. Recently my mum left us and now i feel that he's leaving me too and i know he's not, and that he loves me but im starting to get realy paranoid now and i dont want it to ruin us. I asked him to wait a few months for me to go together but he's adament about goin sooner though there's no reason why he couldnt wait. Do you think he wants space from me? he says he loves me and wants to stay faithful and he wants me to go over to him but why wont he wait for me! iv asked him and he says he's going when his work dries up which hes' expecting to happen after x-mas. But i dont feel that he's being completely honest!(and theres the paranioa again) I've recently started obsessing that he's seeing someone else(I've had a couple of exes have affairs and cheat on me so i dont dive in head first with the trust...) and I'm starting to think that EVERY thing he tells me is a lie! Am i turning into an obsessive pyscho??!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): thanks for your reply... its just that he doesnt want to do it all alone but he wants me to join him on this trip away with him but he wants to leave sooner than i can maybe he does just want to go it alone for awhile?... im trying to be more understanding and not go on at him anymore, i mean i cant hold him back and your right if it meant to be he'll come back to me!
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (4 November 2006):
 No dear, in this case i dont really think you are being paranoid or psycho. Alot will feel the same including me. He will be leaving you for a whole year girl and perhaps more. i know how that must make anyone feel.
From your posting i do feel he loves u but he is the type that loves exploration. I feel he thinks there is alot more for him to see out there and that is where the uncertainities lies.how much will he be willing to see? i feel he doesnt know or is sure of.
I agree with you moving in with him isnt really a wise idea if he is going to be taking off for a year or even more without u.
Also he does have the choice to go with you on the trip if he really wants that. i feel it is a trip he wants to take alone.
I think u should enjoy your time with him while he is around. Go out and have fun as normal. The future with him for now is something that remain uncertain but dont let that worry you. when he is gone if at all u dont go with him try to balance you life and find out meaningful things to do. who knows he might as well come back to you.
Goodluck dear.
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