A
female
age
36-40,
*ost my mind
writes:im 22 and in in my first relationship, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years moved in with his cousin and has changed , he doesn't like me asking him anything anymore for example, i can't ask him what time he's done work,where is he going, what is he doing. Lately for about 2 weeks he lies to me about everything never answers the phone when i call him, all night long he doesn't pick up he will call me the next morning and tell me he was with his friends.i don't believe him but i want to i feel like he's going change to how he was before i have tried to break up with him but it's soo hard and i just can't let go i'm an emotional wreak i cry all the time i cant sleep cant eat cant work cant do my school work...HELP ME ...should i get some professional help because i feel like im loosing my mind.
View related questions:
cousin, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 I can totally understand where you're coming from, the same kind of thing happen to me about 2yrs ago. We were so close and we would spend all our free time together, and he'd tell me everything without me asking a thing. Then he closed up and I was miserable and all I could do was cry-I didn't want to leave him, like you said it's SO hard. We started fighting alot and things got really bad. We decided to give each other some space. We were apart for 1 whole month that to me felt like eternity. But we got back together and things are much better (we still have our ups and downs obviously).
The reason I'm telling you this is because I asked him afterwards why did he act that way. He told me he started falling in love with me and he didn't know how to handle it, he's friends started to get involved and told him he was getting weak and getting too emotional. They filled his head with shit and our relationship took a strain. Maybe that is what's happening with the two of you, maybe his cousin is filling his head with stuff. Guys rely alot on what their friends and family say about a girl-they'll never admit this but they do. In my opinion it's his cousin who's getting in the way of your happiness.
And as his girlfriend you've got all the right in the world to know where he is and what he is doing-just know where to draw the line so that you don't become a jealous girlfriend.
Try talk to him and see if he really does need some time away from the relationship and give it to him. It will be really hard but he needs to figure out want he truly wants, tell him that. Tell him you don't want to hold him back and that you want him to be happy because if you truly love him you'll want him to be happy. Tell him that you'll support him even if you don't get back together. You need to get back onto the same track together.
If you guys do decide to give each other a break, I won't lie to you it will be very hard for you. You've always got someone to talk to right here. I'm sure I'm not the only person to go through what you're going through and I'm sure alot of us will support and be there for you.
I hope everything works it self out.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (1 February 2007):
 Hm it could be two things. Maybe he's not happy in the relationship anymore (in which case there's little you can do) or he's feeling boxed in. It might not seem like it to you but a guy once told me how horrible it is to be in a relationship with someone who's constantly asking where you've been and what you did there. They need some private time. That doesn't mean anything is going on, just that they need space too. Don't call him first, let him be the one to call you and then keep it casual. To me he just sounds scared that you're moving too fast and acting like a married couple. Hope this helps.
CD
...............................
|
