A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend gets absolutely crazy if she thinks she has caught me looking at another girl. She absolutely believes I'm gawking at every single girl that walks by and I honestly don't even try to look at any other girl. And she thinks she can go and talk to guys while she thinks I want someone else even if I take a glance. And her cousin told her if I'm supposedly checking out girls I'm not happy with you and she will absolutely believe the negative than the truth. And idk what to do I love her, and I don't want to lose her, but this had got to stop. idk where to turn to I really wish someone can talk to her and get this straight because if I try talking to her she'll think every word from my mouth is bull and I just want to be a player and want evey other girl but her and I don't. I honestly don't know what to tell her I don't I have no clue how I can talk to her cause I know we have trust issues and she already had trust issues with guys already. For me, my eyes pointing in a direction of a girl she will flip and think I want to be with that other girl and do her and cheat and I'm not like that. I would never hurt her, and maybe there are some guys out there who will never look at another girl at all cause she says her friends have boyfriend who never look, glance nor stare at another girl. Please I need help. I love her so much and I don't want to lose her she is amazing when she is not like this. Please how can I talk to her and let her know I love her and only her and that checking or a look or glance doesn't mean I want to leave her for someone else? And it doesn't mean I'll cheat nor that they are prettier than my girl nor that I want to screw them cause that's all she thinks when ever she thinks she has caught me looking. Please help me anyone can you all help me out?!
View related questions:
cousin, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): People who are jealous all the time actually have a lot things going on under that jealousy.
First off she is insecure about herself. She probably feels she is not pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, interesting enough... etc. She probably feels like she will never be good enough, so she automatically assumes you are checking out other woman.
Secondly trust issues run deep. There's a good chance she has been hurt and cheated on and possibly even more than once. Becoming angry and jealous is a defense against her fear and pain.
These problems can lead to possessive and controling behaviors. You may never be able to prove to her that you aren't looking at other women. Even if you had some of those James Bond glasses with the camera, so that she could constantly see where you are looking, she still wouldn't believe you.
The only way this problem will ever be fixed is for her to learn to trust and for her to learn that these problems exist within her own mind. You can continue to be loving and faithful to her, but she needs to be the one who wants to work toward being well. She may need the help of a third party like a therapist, but even then only she holds the key to helping herself.
The other thing that you need to consider is that most people do not change. So if you want to stay with her, this may be a problem for the rest of your relationship. That means accepting your relationship will be full of drama.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): hi i totally agree with blonde30's and would say the exact same but would also say actions speak louder than words, u can keep talkin and she'll keep listening in the end its the same outcome! i know its a long shot but my sister was in ur position she thought the exact sam as ur gf! so to prove wot he ment to her he baught her an eternity ring! it doesnt seem like much and its not a definate comitment like ur going to get married but it shows u want stability and ur not afraid to show it! hope this helps and good luck x x
...............................
|
