A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,i need help. ive been in an on and off again relationship with this man that tells me that he does love and honor me. i do see some truth in that but as our relationship went on he became controlling and very insecure. the whole dynamic of our relationship changed. i think i was turned off by his behavior that i was purposefully trying to be rude at times and he would yell at me snd tell me how horrible i am.... he never once broke up with me. i was the one who would break it off....but somehow he would return into my life...i know he is not healthy for me. i want to know what is the right way to let him go....
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for taking the time and sharing some valuable advices.
Now to update on my situation...I am no longer talking to him anymore, I will continue to stay strong and shift my focus on bettering myself and keeping myself busy. THANK U THANK U THANK U! :)
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 March 2013):
 You stop calling him... stop emailing him.... don't go to places where you might encounter him..... DON'T answer calls that come from his phone.... DON'T reply to any electronic communcations that come from him....
Really, how hard can this be???? Are you - or, are you NOT - in control of your life? IF "yes," then leave him out of it, and get on with it....
Good luck..
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 March 2013):
 There is no right way to let him go… you just have to bite the bullet and do it.
You tell him either in person in a public location or over the phone that you no longer are interested in being involved with him. IF he returns to your life it’s because you allow it.
Stop allowing it. You tell him it’s over, then block him on social media… block his email and his phone… do not accept calls from numbers you don’t recognize. Eventually it will be over for both of you but you must be strong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2013): I had exactly the same thing myself....why? Because I let my GF back into my life everytime she told me she loved me, couldn't live without me, etc. For 2 long years I put up with heartbreak, unhappiness and pain. Then I finally realized I was my own worst enemy. I am now happy and free from this controlling, manipulating women. But I understand I was too willing to be both controlled and manipulated.
Walk away, change your number or block him, delete him permanently form social networking site and ignore any contact. You say you see some truth in him loving and honouring you but that's irrelevant. your not happy and want out so regardless of whether he loves you or honours you, you need to move on and forward. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 March 2013):
 Assume that if he yells at you and tells you you are horrible he does not honor you- i.e. respect you, and his actions are contraddicting his words.
Realize that if he " somehow " he returns into your life, that's just because you allow him to, how would he do that if you were firm in your decisions ?
Therefore, make up your mind, and if you want to ditch him for good , stop being passive- aggressive ( being mean to him on purpose in the hope to turn him off or similar strategies ) and stop waffling. tell him ONCE, I am sorry, this is not working for me, and then act consequently, i.e. ignore his attempts to reconnect, and if he does not get the hint fat enough, just block him from phone, social networks etc.
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