A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I had a horrible fight with my g/f of 2 yrs. and she was in the process of packing up her things up until I talked her into staying. When I was out of town, she was copying some of our picturs onto a CD when she ran across a CD I had stored some old letters I wrote to my ex after we broke up 4-5 yrs.ago and read every one of them. I accused her of snooping, even though I know it was an accident. She accused me of having anger issues because I do get angry easily and yell at her sometimes over trivial things. After she read these letters she said she had more insight into my behavior and feels that I have displaced my anger over the break up of the ex, onto her instead of being angry at the person I should be angry with - the ex. She accused me of protecting my love for he all these years instead of dealing with it properly. She was especially angry about a stupid list I wrote about the things I missed about my ex. She said what I should've done was write one that was titled "101 Things I Hated About You" and listed out all the horrible things my ex did to me whilest we were together, like lying, cheating, stealing from me, and being verbally abusive and cruel at times. My g/f says if I would've done that, I would've seen my ex for the person she really was, instead of the person I wanted her to be. In one of the letters I wrote, I described my relationship with my ex, as a "nightmare" because she was verbally abusive, she would yell at me and the kids sometimes, and treat me badly. My g/f says I act just like that to her sometimes sometimes and she feels like I've taken on the personality of my ex, as a way to keep her memory alive. Is that possible? I know it's not in my nature to be this quick-tempered normally I am a pretty laid back, passive guy and I really do love my g/f. She is so sweet and kind to me, I don't know what I'd do without her. Could her accusations be true? I have had a hard time getting over my ex, to the point that my g/f says I was obsessed with her. I just don't know what to make of all this, but I don't want to lose my g/f and I want to change if possible.
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male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Seek counseling.
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