A
female
age
36-40,
*ollerj
writes: So ive been in a serious relationship going on 6 years, and we have a 2 yr old together, it seems lately that he never wants to spend just me and him time anymore, we used to watch movies after we put or daughter to sleep, now we just do our own thing "most the time' we do spend some time just me and him wheni ask him hey can me and you just spend some time together tonight he says baby we spend every day together. also he refuses to marry me because we will loose or benifits from the state, food stamps my medicade ect. that stuff we can pay for on our own we make good money he would just rather take the easier way, i feel like were never going to walk down that isle together, please any advice any help i feel all alone and for the first time ever inn 6 yrs im scared to tell him my feelings, all he does is hang out with my parents and when i dont want to he gets mad he never had a family so i know its nice for him but they have been there my whole life i dont have to spend every night with them, please somebody tell me im not crazy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hoplesslydevoted  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 You're not crazy Hun!
I understand why you'd be frustrated. Althought it greats being 'mommy and daddy' you had names before you became parents so sometime it's nice to do things together when you aren't having to call each other by your parental roles.
In saying that, try this:
Make it a point to sit down with him and talk. Not so casually that he wont know how serious you are but a real, formal sit down talk. Let him know how much this means to you and ask him to set a date night once or twice a week with you that NOTHING can get in the way of. On those nights, you can't call each other mommy and daddy or talk about your little one (although I know it would be difficult). Focus on conversation about each others interests and daily going ons as to be in the loop with what's going on in each other lives outside of each other.
The hard part right now must be actually getting him to do something when a plan hasn't already been made. You'll be avoiding this by saying every Mon and Fri nights are 'our' nights together so, from now on , those nights will be spent by us waching movies, going on dates, out to dinner, walks etc...That way, all he has to do is wake up and remember what day of the week it is and he'll already know he's got a commitment with you.
Hope this helps!
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