A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyoneI've written before of how I hate my ex husband to the gutts. Well, I still do, my feelings has not changed. This man gets amnesia for his child. He suddenly forgets that the baby exists and lives his own life apart. He has a visitation order which he does not use. It is not in his knowlege if the child is dead or alive because he practically never calls, Only when his guilt arrises. Five months disappeared the idiot decides to arrive out of no where to see his child. Mind you, after a horrible confrontation where he offended me and my mother who are the only ones raising his child. He offended my mother who has only helped me and did his role as a parent. If it weren't for her I wouldn't be able to manage on my own! So guess what? I kicked him out my house!!! The court order describes visits IN HIS HOME, so what the hell was he doing sitting in my mother's living room like a sorry idiot! Any way, all of a sudden it was his birthday. So he decided to treat himself and call to speak to the baby (he's a toddler, i just still baby him). Wooppy! he decides not to call his child for his baby BUT want his child to remember him for his birthday! I said hell no! First of all his birthday is not even part of the court order. I hanged up every time he called. I mean, it was repetitious, one ring after the other and on he went for five phone calls in a row! My friend told me that he proves not to care for the child but does this to annoy me. By reviewing this situation does any one think this is true? There were a couple of times where I'm getting anonymous phone calls to my cell phone, twice i've had someone call my home at twelve midnight to stay quiet, then again at three in the morning. My cell phone has caller id. One time, he calls and stays quiet, another time i had a missed phone call from him at three in the morning. Can anyone break this down for me? What the hell is going on here!? He has a new fling. One which he humilliated me in front of her after denying going out with me. Two weeks later after this confrontation, he calls me out of no where for a sexual confrontation. To tell you the truth, I am afraid. I am afraid because he has done many hurtful things against me in the past. He punished me by having a child which "he was not ready for". He abandoned me and my child, kicked us out of the home late at night to later go to close the door behind us and go to sleep. The rare times he would see his child, he would express of it as a burden. Weeks before i gave birth he wanted to leap off a building. Can anyone tell me how to deal with a man like this before i go out of control? Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): you need to let go of your hatred for him. this hatred is destroying you, and in the long run you are only hurting yourself and your baby.
this mans actions will not change, with regards to the baby. i think he feels that you have trapped him. sadly your baby is the one affected by an absent father. this is not a good environment for the baby and it only becomes worse when you and this man confront each other.
i don't know what the future holds. you need to get a grip and take note of all of the changes affecting your baby. your baby did not ask to be born, so it should not be used as a ping pong ball.
sorry i cannot give you any more insight into your problems. there is so much of anger in you towards this man, perhaps you need to also deal with this. you know this man only rocks up when he wants to, so you know what you are dealing with. perhaps act with a bit of indefference, will this work?
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