A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been confused lately on what to do about this issue. i have this friend. we're still in school together. he has or should i say had this gf whom he met at year one while we were at a federal college which is regarded as a semi university here. They had been together since then and had been very close. One day, she asked him this question: " what do you think is between us?". he answered: " just friendship. we're just friends". This, he told me later. I was confused at first because i knew he loved her and i was sure she also did. Later, as they usually did, they both started discussing, but it resulted in an argument which he told her that he would have a result which was better than hers that semester. they argued for long, then it ended. Results were released at the end of the semester, and it came out that she did better than him. This was an examination we all wrote to get into a university. so the lists were published, she got an admissinon into the university we all applied for, only that i had applied the previous year, and was lucky to have gotten myself into the course of my choice. She is four(4) yrs older than he, and 1 yr older than me, but we all are usually very close. Months later, he called me on phone, we talked, (just normal talk) mostly about football and other stuff. That night, at about 2am, while (on extra-cool), i wanted to chat with someone so i dailed his number, it wasn't available. So i searched my phone for the number he had called me with. i dialed it, a voice answered. At first i thought it was his sister, so i told her to please hand the phone over to him. she kept saying that i was joking and that i was'nt serious. so i kept insisting. she then called my name and said i wasn'nt serious, and that i was talking to her (my friends gf). i became confused for a while, so i asked her if she and my friend had started sleeping together. she laughed and said no, that they had exchanged numbers during the day. well i couldn't say much, so after some mins of talking, i said goodbye.Months later, she called. well i was a bit surprised, because talking to girls at-times arouses the shyness in me. after som mins of funny discussions, she asked me if i had spoken to my friend lately. i was surprised, so i asked her "Why", because she knew we were very close. she said he hadn't called Her, or visited her since results were published. I was surprised. I could'nt just think of what to say. i could only offer her words of encouragement, saying that i would talk to my friend about it. well i did. he only said there was nothing between them and that all was well. he then made mention of a certain girl he had met in church, who had visited his home. he told me that they had been seen each other for a while and that they almost fiddled while alone at one time. i then asked him about his gf, letting him know that it wouldn't be fair, in case she found out. he only said they were just friends. for most nights since then his gf had been calling me since then. at most times i noticed she would'nt talk about him, so i decided not to make her angry by bring up the topic. this went on for long through out the holidays, while we were on break. Since he could'nt secure admission that year, he stayed home. the following year,i talked to him about applying for a course into the same school which i and his gf were already in. he could'nt just do with the fact that she would be a year above him. she was into human anatomy while i studied a course in engineering. well we both did met for sometime, but i tried avoiding her in school. well, he later did apply into the school through direct entry to study physics. a friend of ours who was also in the same school told him that i was in a serious relationship with her and that i spoke to her often. well, i knew i was in trouble. so i decided to restrain myself from any form of contact with her. i then discussed thus issue with a friend of mine who secretly found out about her. they met so it continued. he then told me that staying out wasn't the best idea, and that she could hate me for it.Well, even though we still kept on talking i tried always to control the flow. since she and him weren't in good terms, i decided to confront the issue. I called him and we arranged for a meeting. I began telling him that i knew what he was thinking and that there was absolutely nothing between me and her. He denied the fact that they had ever had such arguement and that there was nothing. I also spoke to her and she said the same thing in front of me, myfriend and him. So i made them know that if they couldn't remember what they had talked about that day, why then did they stop talking to each other?. well they kept insisting that nothing was wrong, so it ended that day.I later felt angry with myself for wanting to settle their case which wasn't going anywhere. well since they couldn't open up, i then made it clear that i wasn't guilty of anything. Well, till now, even today, he still speaks to me of wanting to get her back. I could only tell him from the times i've spent with her i.e his gf, that she was the very friendly type, who just wanted to be friendly. my friend also confirmed it, saying she was "every bodies girl". we all laughed. he says he just cant stand it when other male friends of hers come around her, and she behaves so openly. I only told him that if he wanted her so badly, he knew what to do.
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exchanged numbers, shy, talking to girls, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Yeah, their relationship is none of your concern. If they decide to fool around and not be official its their concern. You do the right thing by staying away and not getting yourself too involved. And I dont think any of their issues has anything to do with you.
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