A
female
age
26-29,
*eekn'boo
writes:First off people of the internet, I apologize for the really long post I really just want you all to fully understand the situation (:So.. I recently broke up with my ex boyfriend because my friend told me she saw him grinding with another girl at a party. Looking back at the situation, I think I over reacted and made a mistake by breaking up with him.A couple nights ago, he and I talked about what he remembers about that night and based on what he told me/how he told me, I want to believe him. He did said he was talking to other girls that night because he was promoting his fraternity's rush week but doesn't remember dancing with anyone. He and I were together for 2 and a half months before breaking up, he drove 6 hours to visit me and didn't give me any other reason to distrust him prior to this incident. When I called to break up with him, he didn't sound too surprised, he did ask for an explanation and we had a short agruement but I was pretty upset so I cut the conversation short, which is partly why I feel bad because it was an impulsive reaction. However, I don't know if I should believe him instead of my best friend because I don't have a third perspective. My best friend says she is sure of what she saw that night and says she spoke with him and he looked surprised and tried to explain but she didn't let him. She hasn't liked him since the first day they met but I don't think she would lie to me. We have been best friends for 4 years now.He called two weeks and a half after I called to break up but again I was still pretty upset and cut the conversation short. I eventually got over the situation and was also slightly drunk, which allowed me to muster up the courage to texted him. I texted him a casual "Hey (:". He replied very quickly, which was pretty surprising because he isn't quick to reply, and said "hey wyd?" I said "no much, slightly buzzing tbh. Wyd?" Instead of replying he called, I should also mention that I texted him at 2 am :O but I still answered. During the call we talked about what happened that night [which I mentioned at the beginning of the post], while he was explaining this he sounded like he wanted to cry, which made me almost want to cry but I refrained (: During the conversation he kept asking why I did what I did and said that it was his first time driving almost 300 miles/6 hours to any girl.We are recently begun talking again but just as friends. I don't know if I should considering getting back with him or remaining friends, since I still don't know if he if what he did/didn't do is technically cheating. So basically, I'm confused and would love some advice :D :).
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 September 2015):
 Is it cheating to dance with another girl/guy? Even if it's a bit of a grind?
I'd say no, but it can LEAD to a more... horizontal mambo if you will. Very easily. And I think overtly sexual dancing with someone who is NOT your bf/gf CAN be inappropriate when in a relationship.
I'd talk to him and simply ask him if HE would be OK if you were dancing/grinding on another guy. And whether he is OK with it or not, TALK boundaries. What you feel is acceptable and what is not, ask him for his views too - so IF you two start dating you BOTH know what is a no-no in a relationship and what is not.
You friend tried to have your back, if that I'm kind of certain. Your BF was either a bit clueless or he was thinking since you weren't there what harm could it be?
Only YOU can define what you are OK with in a relationship and what you are not.
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