A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Okay, so I'm 18 and a senior in high school. I have been raised a gentleman and I keep fit playing various sports and going to the gym, so I'm not unattractive. I have been in a relationship for a year now, and I have very strong feelings towards this girl. I have always done everything for her, from getting her whatever she needed to randomly showing up at her house with roses, and I have pleased her in many ways, take in mind I'm a virgin. But she has never even remotely tried to please me, she refuses to kiss me in public, she hasn't once given me an orgasm, and she just gets mad at me whenever I joke around with her. I don't know what to think of it, because she has many guy friends and the last thing I'd want to be would be possessive. So I don't know what to do, I have no intentions on leaving her, but how should I confront her about my situation?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 October 2010):
At that age, everybody was making out in the hallways before class. Unless, they have cracked down on that behavior..It's possible she finds PDA unattractive and refuses to engage in it. I understand, but there is nothing wrong with a small sweet kiss before you run off to class. As far as pleasing goes, that's a give and take situation, you must give in order to receive. So I would cut off the oral, if she expects but is not going to reciprocate.
Like jmc930 states set her down for a small talk, let her know that you do a lot for her and all you ask for is a little affection public, just a small kiss, none of that tongue shoving down the throat display and that she reciprocate the oral. Ultimately, you can't force her to do any of it, all you can do is ask her to give a little more in this relationship than what she's giving.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): If you've been together for a whole year and you've been a great boyfriend thus far, I don't think it'd hurt to sit her down and ask her what's up. Tell her how you feel, using "I" statements: "I feel hurt that you don't want to show others that you like me in public. Why don't you want to give me a small kiss with people around?" "I pleasure you. Is there any way I could get the favor returned?"
She may not even realize that you want these things if you've never specifically said so.
If the talk goes well and things get better, your problem is solved! If not, that's OK, too, and you can move on, go to college and have plenty of opportunities to date others.
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