A
female
age
30-35,
*fav4
writes:Recently I've found my boyfriends porn stash on his hard drive. We've been together a year and I know he has always watched porn but it has never bothered me before. I watch it myself and use toys, plus we are both very adventurous in bed!However, it made me really uncomfortable because of the amount he's got. There's like 70 folders, each full of probably 70 clips! This is really discouraging for me in sex. It makes me feel undesirable and somewhat inadequate! How can I compete with all those women?I don't feel like I can be bothered trying in sex anymore if he's just going to turn to all of those unrealistic women. To me also, he's lost a certain kind of charm and a certain kind of sexiness.He's said he's given it up, I'm not sure if I even want that I mean I would prefer him not to lie to me!Help! Where should I go with this? I REALLY don't know if I can go on with him knowing he has a ridiculous amount of porn clips!
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male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 What the others have said is good advice.
Your bf said he's given it up. Even if he hasn't given up ALL of it, maybe this shows a willingness to change and an acknowledgement that his massive porn stash is something not fully compatible with a monogamous relationship. Anyway, people have all kinds of old crap on their computers that they forget to delete. He may look at it daily or he may not have looked at it in months. You really don't know (unless of course you check the file information!).
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (5 October 2010):
 It's too much when he rather looks at porn than have sex with you. Out of those 4900 clips, I would say more than half of them is mediocre. As long as he knows what's fantasy, what's real, you don't have to worry too much. Those girls are just to get him off in seconds, you are the one he loves. I have seen much bigger cocks than my boyfriend's, more freakier stuff, but my boyfriend is still number one. He had to go through that much to pick and choose and discard ones that are no good. I am 30 and I started watching porn on and off since I was 20. I can say I watched about 2000 short clips, but I never felt the need to save them of my hard drive. I don't consider myself an addict. Did you look at the dates he created those files? Too much of anything is no good. I don't think you live together but when you do, he would probably clean up his act, and his computer. My boyfriend and I don't live together so we have sex once a week. In between he masturbates and watches porn if his computer is not slow.
If you think about it, your toy can stay hard all the time, it get hit your spots whenever you want to, how can your boyfriend compete with that? Your boyfriend is a living thing, with energy and vibrations. Sex with a real person is always better than jerking off yourself.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Well if am honest with you most guys are in to porn, especially before there 30's anyway its quite normal. It doesnt mean he thinks ur any less sexier or attractive its just something men do, dont worry they know as well as we do that it is totally unrealistic its just something they watch for the thrill of it, its nothing personal to you. Thats just men. If it does really bother you a lot then ask him to delete them and tell him that they really bother you and make you feel like you cant compete.
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