A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello Iim a 36 year old woman in a long distance relationship with a man in new york. He has been working on moving down here since june. I really love him and he says he loves me but I feel like something is changing, he normally calls me three to four times a day, but for the pass three days ive only heard from him once a day, early in the morning. Im so confused, I dont know if were still planning on being together or if im just wasting my time. I really hate the thought of him finding someone newHelp!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2014): I am currently going through this in my relationship. He is almost the same way he would text me when he would go to work and he works nights, and I am always up at night and wait to speak with him when he gets off. But he would text me a few times more on his breaks saying little things like, "I miss you and "I love you." The first time I didn't hear from him for almost two days and it really worried me. It turned out the he didn't pay his cell bill and thought he had until midnight to pay it(that was the excuse he gave me) So what could I do I had to trust him and believe him. But we had a discussion and I failed to mention that it really bothered me when I didn't hear from him. In fact, he was the one who said he felt like a part of him was missing when he didn't get to talk to me. So I understand how you feel. There have been times when he was so tired I told him that he needed to get rest after he worked a long day and he told me he wanted to stay on the phone with me. It can be difficult when you have to sit and wait. I started drifting off to sleep hoping he would text me in the middle of the night. What it all comes down to is you really have to have a deep discussion and a plan to say hey I would like to know what is going on and talk about the way it makes you feel. He seemed like his usual self on the text and we hadn't argued or anything so I will assume that he is just overly tired from work and he has fallen asleep on his couch. He also has 2 kids and he has to be awake when they get up in the morning. Don't panic just tell him how it makes you feel. I don't nag him or say stuff like where have you been or call him names or accuse himof anything. Always talk about how things make you feel.The only thing I don't like is that he will brush it off or act like nothing happened, and that's when I tell him that I was really worried. You have to develop a system with each other. As a women I get use to a guy quickly and you get into a routine and we always know how many times a man calls or texts us. Men don't keep track of those things. I hope it works out for you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2014):
 why do you immediately assume that he's found someone new?
daily contact in an LDR is a fairly new thing.
you still hear from him once a day...
why can't you say 'hon you usually call more what's up?"
or do you not trust him?
trust is everything in an LDR more so than a face to face relationship.
You say you don't know if we are still planning on being together... well YOU are... why don't you ask him "what's going on with your move honey?"
and if you say "Oh I can't ask him that" then I don't hold out much hope for the relationship.
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