A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've posted about this guy before and I got some great advice from this community so here I am again..I met this guy last August while he was travelling through my country. We spent a few days together and it was amazing. He left to Peru to study a semester abroad afterwards.We stayed in touch and he said I should visit him (this is what I asked advice for the last time). I had always wanted to see that part of the world so I went for it and two months later, we were together again.At first I was nervous as I didn't even know how to greet him when I saw him at the airport. We had been writing to each other without saying anything romantic even though we had already... you know, when he was in my country. So i was unsure what our status was (he's German and from my experience, they're very shy people who don't open up their feelings). We made out eventually that same night, you know the drill. We flew next morning to our first destination and we travelled together around the place for ten days. We had such a strong connection and such a fun time together.Before my flight back home, he gave me a bag full of presents that he had been collecting for me the past few months, including a heart-shaped quartz. He had also been spoiling me with gifts during the entire trip (I'm not a gold digger but I thought, you don't spend this kind of money in someone you just want for a few days). He also talked a lot about wanting to move to my country and put a restaurant on the beach, about proposing to me, etc. He said it in a kind of joking way though, so I didn't take it seriously and just laughed it off.This was all about a month ago and we have been staying in touch since then, he said he wanted to come visit me when he is done with school, etc.We don't exactly text, but we send each other really long messages updating each other on things we've been doing, etc every one or two days (he doesn't own a computer)Last week, he sent me a message saying that his phone had been stolen and a link to a blog he did to update his friends and family on his South America adventures and he had written a post about our travels together. He said things such as "I never thought i'd write something like this" and "Our time together was too short and I can't wait to see her again"I replied to his message saying I was sorry about his phone and bla bla, and told him I loved his blog post and I couldn't wait to see him again either because I missed him.And then, no answer. It's been a week already and nada. He does log in and update his facebook but he seems to be ignoring me and it's just so confusing because he didn't even give me any signals that he was going to pull the disappearing act. I just seems weird that he writes something on his blog like that and then seems to vanish from the world.Any advice? I haven't written to him after that last message (trying to keep my dignity) but I can't think of a reason he would just ignore me!I thought maybe whoever stole his phone deleted the message (the girls over there are head over heels for him, even when he's walking a random girl will come and ask him if they can take a picture together.. a bit weird)... but I think I'm just making excuses...What should I do? I'd love to hear anyone's opinion on this. Maybe i am missing out on something being clouded by my feelings. I tried to add as many details as I could. Thank you!
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female
reader, mererang  +, writes (28 May 2015):
Hi, people usually avoid going long distance or still being in touch, especially when they've not known eachother for long just like in your case. They think its risky. But according to me, it all depends upon how strong your bond is and how well you both connect to eachother. He seems like a nice guy who pampered you when he was with you and was playful with all his jokes. Even after he left, he was in touch and him writing about you in his blog also sounds sweet. But, the sudden disappearing act is a total no-no. Girl, i know your dignity matters to you, it does to every girl, but if you really do love him, try dropping a message asking him that you're awaiting a reply. Try not to sound rude but at the same time let him know that you're concerned and you expect him to reply and not just ignore. And, if he still does not reply then there's definitely some problem. Then you should consider moving on. So dont hesitate, get things cleared up in your head first and to do that message him. PS: if he does message you back, work upon your communication, you guys need to talk a little more!
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