A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Mod Note, Your chosen title has already been used before, so i've had to give you a different one.So when my daughter was born not 2 long ago she was extremely sick it took a month just 2 bring her home but when she got home we realized that she doesn't sleep at all so my fiance and i decided that i would sleep in our guest room with her so she wouldn't keep him and our 3 yr old up,that was 4 months ago...my fiance and i don't sleep together we haven't had sex in about 3 months and when i mention going back 2 sleeping in our bed he makes an excuse why i can't,he doesn't touch me anymore not 2 b cocky but never had problems like this in my life im attractive...what's his deal?what do i do?
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Fatigue, giving you space after childbirth, busy lives, fear of making another baby quickly...it all gets in the way of romance. I don't think sleeping in the same bed is such a big deal - you will only get things back on track if you put the effort in, but also give each other time to adjust to having a new baby at home. You need to enlist trusted friend's and family to have your children one night a week (or even one night a month!) so you both go out on a date - quality adult time away from diapers. That will trigger the romantic interest back into your relationship. You can have a physical relationship outside your bed.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (7 August 2010):
 I think he's been traumatised by your children's sickness.. the mind can be a funny thing.. first you was pregnant and he had to stop sex, then the kids were sick and sex stopped again. He has probably trained himself to do without sex and dosen't know how to get back his desire again. He might see you as a nurse, a mother, but forget that you can also be a lover..
If the kids are well enough, then get a baby sitter and take him out for dinner and a little dancing.. wear sexy underware and jump him and try to seduce him.. if he resists, then you need to sit him down and ask when your going to have sex again, because you miss him and are frightened that you are loosing him. He won't be able to make up excuses when you've arranged a night of seduction and he has nothing else to do but have sex with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Its common for couples not to have sex for months after they have a child due to stress and exhaustion. If its only been a few months dont worry it takes time for couples to start having sex again, but as long as your daughter is doing well now and not crying if youre not with her in the night you should be able to sleep in the same bed no matter what he says. But dont worry about it I think he might be under stress as well. Good Luck!
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