A
female
age
30-35,
*harellabella
writes:Hi everyone-Me and my boyfriend of four years on and off are back on I guess. Here's the problem he doesn't want to hold hands or kiss me in public or infront of his friends just bc its " akword" to him. He shows me no affection at all unless were at my house alone. He wont pleasure me at all even if I ask him too I always have to do the work. He wont take me out on dates, or even to hangout with his friend. He doesny invite me bowling or anything. He wont even buy me anything for holidays like christmas or valentines day or my birthday. He tells me he loves me but he has a weird way of showing it. We have sex everytime he comes over and when I'm not in the mood he gets mad. He's always pickng fights eith me or picking on me. Nevrr compliments me, I love him he's my high school sweetheart, how do I say no and what do I do I domt want to loose him or start over with someone new?
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (13 February 2012):
 Sadly, it sounds like your boyfriend is using you for sex. After four years of dating, he probably figures you've graduated from date nights and romancing.
Us guys can be dogs at times especially when it comes to sex. Obviously, he's grown very comfortable with your relationship to the point where he feels he doesn't need to win you over. However, a key component of being in a loving relationship is to treat your partner with respect and affection. If one forgets that, one's relationship is doomed.
I think you need to take stock of the way your boyfriend is treating you. If you talked to him and told him how you feel and that you feel like you are being taken advantage of, how do you think he'd react? Valentine's Day is coming up, why not ask him what you are going to do as a couple?
I suggest you have a conversation with you. Explain to him what you need from him and give him examples. Tell him that you want to feel loved -- not just for sex and that his physical and emotional presence mean a lot to you. See how he reacts and if he can change his ways he is a keeper. If not, I think you really have to wonder whether he is worth investing more time into. Ultimately, if things don't change, you'll be left hungry for someone who can treat you like you want to be treated.
Best wishes and I hope he can win you over for Valentine's Day.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 February 2012):
 "Sounds" to me like your guy is like ANY "typical" guy... that is.... ANY "TYPICAL" 8-YEAR-OLD!!!! ....who has just figured out that he has a pe*is, and is trying to figure out what to do with it!!!!!
You "domt want to loose him or start over with someone new?" Why NOT? There's no future with this creep....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2012): no way is he treating you right :\ my opinion is that you should just shut him out of your life...it made be hard nd upsetting for u but you will be happier in the future :) good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2012): why are you even in this 'relationship'?? just because you're too afraid or lazy to be on your own and start over with someone new?
this 'relationship' has erased all shred of your self esteem. you can do better than this. why do you let anyone treat you this way?
I doubt you actually love him, you're just afraid to be on your own. just what part of him do you love? the part of him that just uses you for sex and otherwise shows that you mean nothing to him?
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