A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My boyfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining he liked giving me oral. At the begining he gave me oral everytime we had sex and whenever we just messed around and i would give him oral about 3/4 of the time. After like a year and a half he pretty much stopped giving me oral even tho now i always give him oral for about like 15-20 minutes before we start having sex. He said that at the beginning he liked to give it to me but now he feels like he over did it and he doesnt like giving it anymore. It just sucks because i dont quit sucking until hes ready then he wants to go straight to sex and will actually say hes turned off if i ask him for oral. Well not just simply turned off but if i ask him for some he will say no and if i insist he will say he is getting turned off.I dont know what to do because i make sure he has maxium pleasure everytime we have sex but he only gives me oral when he says he feels "freaky" which is like 1 out of 10 times. And its weird because he will ask for head and will actually become aggravated and turned off if i dont give him some and he will just not go into anything sexual after that. This upsets me because i actually like giving oral and i just think its unfair that he gets it and will get aggravated if i ask for some. This is pretty important to me because i feel like i actually get more pleasure from him giving me oral rather than just having sex.What should i do? stop giving him some and hope he gives me some first? i think if i do this we will probably just become less sexual and we will be in a worse place than when we started. Help Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): Maybe he is embarrassed to say why he doesn't like giving it, for example, do you remove hair/keep it all tidy? Shower before sex, etc? It's just an idea. Maybe you should get it all waxed and see if that has an effect- if you haven't already. For me, hair is a real turn off, but luckily for girls we don't really have to contend with that when going down on a guy, so it makes things a bit easier. I have to say, though, that if he really doesn't like it, it seems pretty bad to try and repeatedly cajole him into doing something he is uncomfortable with. If the situation was reversed and you didn't want to give him head, how would you feel if he kept asking you to do something you didn't like? That would surely be a big turn off for you too. Sex shouldn't be about having to do things you don't want to do. If it's that big a deal then perhaps you should think about finding someone else?
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (18 February 2011):
 Well, oral comes standard. SHould be something both do for each other.
SImply refusing to give him blowjobs anymore woul donly make the problem worse. Talk to him - and choose a time to talk when he is't stressed, distracted, or horny. Make it an honest question, "Is there something wrong? Is there something I can do to make you go down on me more?" Don't make it an accusation, or a confrontation.
If he's done it before, and for as long as he did, he's not a completely selfish guy. His recent behavior may have some trigger behind it. Talk to him, and be sure to offer to do whatever you can to make it easier on him - he'll respond much better to that than to demands or accusations.
...............................
A
female
reader, ck9779 +, writes (18 February 2011):
It seems like he is a selfish lover. If I were in your situation, I would stop performing oral on him. If he is selfish in bed, then there are other areas in your relationship that are going to start to fail. I disagree with the first comment that giving head is the way you show your love him. I agree with "the walkin dude". Your relationship will start to go down hill if this isn't worked out. Sex isn't the entire relationship, but it does play a big role.
There could be other reasons he stopped but it honestly just sounds like he is being selfish. Go on a sex strike to prove your point.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): tthis question sounds extremely familiar because well i asked this question a week ago and this "female" just copied and pasted the entire thing. only thing changed is girlfriend to boyfriend and the shes to hes. its actually pretty funny how when i asked this question everyone called me selfish for wanting this and now that a girl asks it everyone says the guy is selfish. talk about double standards. if you guys down believe me look up my girl wont go down on me. thanks to whoever posted this so i could see all types of opinions over this subject.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): I'm the person who posted this question.
He just says, sorry that he doesnt like giving it and there's no negotiating about it. And I bet if I keep insisting I will get even less and he's basically told me this before. But if it wasn't for me giving him head we wouldn't have much of a sex life I think. And I actually like giving it, that's not the problem. I like being down there and have him moaning with pleasure, but I just don't think its fair and and I'm missing out on one of my favorite sexual experiences.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): There must be a reason why he's stopped. Maybe he only did it in the beginning because he thought you'd like it.
You need to talk to him about it because it's obviously a big issue and unless it's sorted your relationship is just going to go downhill even more.
...............................
A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (18 February 2011):
 Stop giving him blowjobs. Until he tells you the real reason why he won't go down on you anymore, no blowjobs.
...............................
A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (18 February 2011):
He sounds extremely selfish to be truthful. We had a similar discussion on here a few weeks ago actually... and I do find it extremely hard to get my head around people who do it at first and love it, then they stop doing it altogether. There has to be a reason!!!
Have you actually asked him why he doesn't like doing it anymore?
Unless you can actually sort this out, I can't see this relationship lasting... put your cards on the table to him and tell him like it is. Ask him, if I stopped giving you blowjobs would you leave me? I bet he would say yes... so what stops you from doing the same!
I do understand that there is more to life than blowjobs and licking someones pink pocket, but for goodness sake, lets face facts, it is something that should be enjoyed and not a chore if you are in love.
...............................
|
