A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've met a lovely man who like me is getting divorced. We've agreed were attracted to each other but he's now said he doesn't want a relationship because I'm too nice and remind him of his ex wife! What should I do? I've agreed to stay friends Hoping that he will realise in time that we are a good match. Meanwhile I'll go dating.
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divorce, ex-wife, his ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2011): Even if you died your hair and had surgery this man wouldn't date you long term.
I think he's saying your the type a man marries and he's just out of a marriage, so are you.
It would be great to find a Mr Right soon as your divorced, but I think a 'breather' in between gives all parties time to get over the end of a long relationship,get to know ourselves and do stuff we couldn't do when married.
Its just bad timing, perhaps in 2 years it would work, so be single and enjoy, you don't have to fall out with this very honest man, just accept what he says and be pleased he didn't just string you along then dump you.
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (16 September 2011):
 if he is just coming out of a marriage and going through a divorce he may just want a bit of space on his own or dating around for a while rather than getting caught up in another relationship just yet, so yes, it is good if you do the same and not put all your eggs in his basket. its good that he has been honest, he could've lied and promised you all sorts, knowing that he does not really want to commit to it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): I've noticed men tend to date a woman similar to their ex, (especially if she broke his heart,) after getting out of the relationship. It is good of him to be honest with you. It's not your fault. My step-brother and his ex wife are a good example. She broke his heart and left for another man. He was angry and crushed. Well, his first girlfriend he met at a cowboy bar (just like his ex,) they loved line dancing and country music, (just like his ex,) went to football games and car races, (just like his ex.) She was a 'party girl' (oh you guessed it!The creepy thing was she also looked so similar to his ex that it was disturbing! Same hair, similar face, same coloring! Even my husband says to me, "Holy cow, she is almost her twin!" That relationship didn't last very long either. :(
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 I will approve of your current decision to continue dating. The man you were interested was up front with his feelings and you should be appreciative that he wasn't playing games with you.
Different people react differently when they are going through a big, life altering course of action and a divorce is one of those big ones. He probably has a lot going on and emotionally he isn't ready for something and he probably wants to experience someone who is different from what he is leaving behind.
Yes, you can remain friends to see if something happens, but my guess is that this ship has already sailed.
Good luck.
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