A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently dated this teacher of mind. He is still married with kids. We split due to him wanting to reconcile with his wife and that split lead to many more controversy to the point where he almost got sent to prison and fired. But now i still have strong feelings for him and everybody says he isnt right for me. But i know he is. People want me to hate him they say he took advantage of me but i dont feel that way at all. He wont even look at me now. Really everything didnt have to go this way if we took the time to talk about outcomes and where our relationship was heading. He never pressured me about sex or anything. He said he wanted to take our relationship nice and slow. Said we shouldnt rush into things and i agreed. I miss him so much and it hurts cause he doesnt want to talk to me anymore. He trusted me with his life and i risked it. He is a good man, has a loving heart but he is to flirty. Should i talk to him? Do you think he'll talk to me?Even if we are just friends ill be ok or assoicates i just need a part of him.
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (26 May 2008):
 May I add a few things here? You said that he almost got sent to prison... I'm assuming it was for statutory rape. That said, it's not hard for me to see why he's avoiding contact with you. He (and you) are probably being watched closely by the authorities. His freedom has been jeopardized and I can see why he would want to avoid you. It may not have been of either of your choosing that this happened, but the reality is that the law was broken and he (as the adult) will be the one to pay the penalty for it, not you.
My advise is that if you truly care about him and his well-being, do so from a distance and allow him to get his life back on track. This would be the greatest sacrifice you could make for him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): This isnt about you and your feelings only, this man is married, he wants nothing to do with you, he made a mistake and had serious consequences for it.
It is sad to see the lack of morals and judgement in our youth, that you could have been interested in this authority figure teacher a married man to have sex with, he may have seduced you, but by your own admission you went willingly. That said, he took advantage of you, he is older and more manipulative, he worked to gain your trust encourage your feelings of infatuation and promised you a relationship along with the sex, but it was all a lie.
I hope that you will think about getting some counseling or therapy to help you get over these strong feelings you have about this, you are liable to get a bit depressed over the situation, you have to let this guy go and keep him out of your life....and get on with your own life of going to school and studying so that you can be a responsible adult.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): Hate to be so short with this, but I think it's best if you move on. It seems that he already has, and please consider his family. Imagine if you married the man you loved more than anyone, started a family with him, made your home together, and he ruined it all with his infidelity. Please do the right thing and try to find someone else. I'm not even going to say "find someone your own age" because I really don't think that's the point. But there are so many good guys who may be infinitely more compatible with you than this married man. He is clearly a cheater and liar, and who knows if he's been with other young girls? I don't trust him and I don't think you should either. Please, please make the right choice. It'll be hard, but so is chasing after someone who's already left you behind. You have so much ahead of you, when you get to college everything may be put into perspective. A change in scenery and some new faces and experiences may be the tonic you need to heal and forget about that selfish teacher. Good luck and God bless
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A
female
reader, Dreaming  +, writes (26 May 2008):
Pretty Basic, He's married, wants to be back with his family. Leave him alone. Your friends seem to be giving you good advice.
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