A
female
age
51-59,
*inz
writes:My husband have been together for 20 years, married for 17. I am not sure how to fix things. He is agood guy, but seldom shows any care or concern. My whole life is set up around him and the kids and I love it I like to care for them and to take good care of them. He will never offer help if I am struggling. eg. In the mornings he will get up, go read or play on the computer, while I am running around trying to get myself ready for work and the kids ready for school. I also have my own business, but struggle to fit everything into a day. If he is off work, he won't help take the children to school or go to the shops, or make my coffee at night. Even if I have just sat down, he will ask me for a cup of coffee. This causes a bit of anger from my side. As a result I am feeling very insecure
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male
reader, chicagomonk  +, writes (29 April 2008):
I can understand your concern or anxiety? It must be hard, feeling as if you're doing all the work. Maybe you could start by getting him to do small things and hopefully his helpfulness can blossom from that. Baby steps you know? It's obvious you're a very caring person and I'm sure you deserve all the happiness you can get. Sorry I can't offer more help, good luck!
A
female
reader, ninz +, writes (29 April 2008):
ninz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSometimes, I must admit, I react in an angry way as all I want is some small token of care and gesture of support. I know that this reaction does not help any and probably continues the cycle. Is it unfair to expect some appreciation even after all this time.. Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
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