A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i love my boyfriend very much, but i dont understand something he does. we hang out every day, and everything goes well, but on my days off (weekends) he goes and does other things, for instance tonight he is at his inlaws. i did work today for the afternoon. he emailed me, and left a message on my answering machine, leaving a number where i could contact him, but im already upset. i dont understand why on my days off he does this. i look forward to spending time with him, and im so hurt that he doesnt want to. i dont get it.this has been going on for awhile now. ive tried to talk to him about it, he knows it bothers me, but still does it. not only do i feel like he doesnt want to be around me, i feel like he doesnt care about my feelings, no respect. all week long i feel loved by him, but then weekends come and i get so stressed out, i end up in tears every time, wondering how he just "shuts it off" i am so very hurt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno, he is not married. lately he has been spending weekends with his daughter, and future son in law....they are having a baby. they are also living with him right now. he has been going over to the son in laws parents house every weekend, and hanging out for hours on end, which isnt a "bad" thing, but i cant help but feel like hes distancing himself from "us" and it really hurts. last night he didnt get home until late, i never spoke to him all day, we talked on the phone, plus i talked to him while he was there, briefly....everything was fine after our conversation last night, then he calls me first thing this morning on his way out the door, he goes for coffee with the boys in the mornings sometimes. it gets feeling like i have to book an appointment just to spend time with him. he said hed call me back after coffee. every time i try to break up with him, he doesnt give up, he keeps trying to contact me. ive tried everything i know to make this work, but i dont know what to do anymore. when we're apart i miss him terribly, and it appears he misses me too, but when we're together i feel like im totally taken for granted and everything else comes first, even throughout the week. he will jump at the opportunity to go for coffee, or to go help someone out, but when it comes to me asking for a little extra time on weekends or anything, its like a big deal, he wont do it. when i tell him i feel like he no longer loves me he gets upset and says im wrong ie; "why dont you trust me?" is what he always says. im so confused and so hurt. please help me
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (25 March 2012):
 It seems Susie and I both missed something in your post. I missed the bit about the in-laws and Susie missed the bit about you spending all but two days a week, every week together.
Is he married or are these former in laws with whom he keeps in touch? They were family after all and if he and his ex have children then all the more reason to remain on good terms.
If he is not married and you're not having an affair with him (and I think you would have said so had that been the case), and everything is otherwise great (you said that it was) then I don't see how he can be accused of using you just because your upset that he spends 5 days out of every week with you instead of 7.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (25 March 2012):
 I am a bit confused - he is your boyfriend, but he has in-laws? So does that mean that he also has a wife???
Wife or no wife, he is using you; if he knows and understands how you are feeling, and continues with the same behaviour. I don't see how you can continue in this relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (25 March 2012):
I guess he figures that your days off are his as well. You do see each other every day, Monday to Friday, which is a bit much for most people. He has friends, family he'd also like to spend time with, surely. Not to mention chores and errands of his own along with down time to be by himself.
What about cutting back on your week day visits?
...............................
|
