A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have to put this bluntly, otherwise i'm going to go off into loads of upset drabble and i don't want to bore you with that... I've always had trouble with my 'private' area, as a female i'm so worried all the time about what it looks like and smells like and even tastes like. and my boyfriend has always offered to 'go down' on me, and he's never done it to anyone before, and i've never let him get anywhere close to doing it to me because im sensitive about how it looks, and my legs are chubby so that can't look nice can it? But i decided to trust him, and i guess in a way it's my own fault and i shouldn't have trusted him, and i let him and then he went to do it.. and literally milimetres away he stopped and he said he couldn't. and he didn't know why he couldn't. he just couldn't. And i didn't want to make him but it hurt me so much because he's the one that said he wanted to try it so what's wrong with me? Why couldn't he do it? He said it's not because it's ugly or horrible or smells bad or anything.. he's just really nervous. but can this really be the reason? I just feel so insecure now and i dont know how i feel... really broken up and horrible and ugly and disgusting but.. like it's not fair for me to be mad at him for not doing it, i dont want to force him to do something he didn't want to do. but i really wanted him to do it and it took so much for me to get to the point where i trusted him enough to do it.. and now i just feel like he's shattered that and now i don't know how to feel or what to do. I feel like i just can't let him touch me or look at me there anymore at all. I just don't know what to do or what's wrong with me. I keep that area as clean as possible. it's not too hairy or anything because i trim it and he even said it's really neat.... so what the hell is going on?
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your help. We did talk about it actually, and i really wouldn't pressure him into anything but i don't want him to pressure himself into it thinkin he has to do it because that's what good boyfriends should do lol but we chatted about it and he says he really was just really nervous and i suppose in a way i understand, and now that i'm not all emotional about it i remember him referring to the first time i ever touched him in a sexual way.. and how i was really nervous the first few times so we didn't go the whole way, and i realised how sweet he is lol. thanks loads of your advice though! it really put everything into perspective and I feel a lot better. x
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (14 October 2008):
 There is NOTHING wrong with either of you. OK? Trust me, the first time that a guy even thinks about going down, he is just as nervous and uncertain about it as the woman. It was many years ago for me, and now I can only take a wild guess about the number of times and women with whom I have performed cunnilingus - but I recall that very first time like it was yesterday. LOL - I did the exact same thing as your boyfriend.
A beautiful woman, slightly older than my 16 years at the time, but I had my stud reputation to defend (LOL) and thought that I would curl that older girls' toes with my talents. Well, I just felt too uncertain at the last second and I froze up. It's like anything else - the first time anyone attempts to do something it's new territory. First kiss, first day at school, first day on the job - all these things make anyone feel out of their comfort zone the very first time, especially when the performance is up to them.
So relax. I'm sure that you are just as fresh, clean and beautiful down there as any young woman, and that he is just as unsure about his "talents" the first time as I was those many years ago. And by the way, he should expect that the first taste and close-up encounter with any woman's vaginal opening will seem just a bit musty and organic. We learn to love it. My advice to both of you is relax and give it another go. Best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): You did mention that he has nerver done it before and he said he was nervous.He probably is just as scared as you are.He may be worried that he wont do it right,and would feel embaressed afterwards.Im sure he doesnt think your privates smell or look bad.If he felt that way then im sure he wouldnt have offered to do it in the first place.
Have a talk with him and maybe you can help him get over being so nervous.You dont want to make him feel like he is being pressured though.If he really doesnt want to do it,then maybe just drop the subject for a little while and try again some other time.
...............................
|
