A
female
age
36-40,
*alen
writes:So, I have found many questions similar to mine... but there are a few differences and because I am analytical I have to ask.My boyfriend and I broke up because we had been fighting a lot and we had both gone through a lot with our jobs and lives at the time. Like three days after we broke up I decided it was a bad move and pursued to get back together. One night I had to go to the hospital and called him to take me, I asked him to get back together and he told me "he wanted to be alone and fly by the seat of his pants" A second time I tried to get back together after analyzing where he was and told him that things would be very different if we were to get back together and he told me that did not change his mind, just his mind set and then he kissed me. A third time i tried to get back together with him, I decided to try and be his friend and we hung out and had an awesome day but then we drank and I ended up begging him to get back together again! He again told me no. I then told him that I wished we had never dated and asked him if he could just tell me he didn't love me anymore so that I could get over him. He refused and we didnt speak again for three weeks when I invited him to my birthday. We ended up getting back together that night and he told me that he had slept with someone else. I am having a hard time forgiving him because my ego was so crushed from begging him and getting told no over and over again and on top of that he was sleeping and partying all over town! This is not the person I thought I knew, the first time we slept together, I told him i didn't think it was a good idea (before it happened) because I had feelings for him and he told me, "i wouldn't be doing this if i didn't feel the same.." So now I just feel like I have been suffering for weeks over him, never thinking of sleeping with someone else because it might ruin getting back together, getting rejected multiple times, and having him tell me that he didn't want to be with me before because "it was too negative and he didn't think we could work things out" So now I am trying to figure out what this was with this girl because she has a lot of my same personality traits and looks a bit like me but he claims that it was just a one night stand and he felt terrible about it but continued to hang out with her for a few weeks after, then decided he wanted to be with me. I do not know what to do with this i have thought about it so much and I just can't decide weather or not to trust him with my feelings... I truly feel like he liked this girl and lost feelings for me in the process and then decided she wasn't me. He says that it was because he was using her, and felt weird about it so hung out with her after but he also cuddled with her and ended up sleeping again in the same bed with her but not having sex and he admitted that he was attracted to her. I feel like it should be too late for him and I am angry but I still love him! Im so confused!
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broke up, crush, get back together, one night stand Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): It sounds to me like he wanted to break up because he met this other girl and didn't want to feel guilty when he slept with her. Honestly, you dont want a man like that. At one point many of us have loved someone who we know we shouldnt deep down inside. I say listen to your gut feeling... will you always be questioning him? Will you be able to trust him? I am not sure of his age or mentality, but he might just not be ready or in a mind set to be with one girl and one girl only. How do you know someone else might not come around that he will want to pursue? I say have respect for yourself. Everyone deserves to be treated fair, im not saying we all dont make mistakes. Nobody is perfect..but respect yourself and with confidence you will find someone who is right for you. Why would you Want to be with someone who you have to bed for a relationship? I dont think he deserves you! Best of luck either way!
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