A
female
age
41-50,
*ternaleclipse
writes:Hi,I HAD to talk to someone about this because I am so confused and devastated. I was only 16 but found the love of my life and he had said I too was his first true love and I never stopped loving him. The only reason we broke up was because his mom didn't like me and even though I've been engaged since then, had 2 more serious relationships I never got over him. Since then he has gotten married and had 2 kids but has admitted he's unhappy. Even when he was engaged he cheated on his current wife with me and we would always hang out without her knowing and every time I'd ask "If you're so in love, why are you here with me?" And would say because he loved me too. Over the past 10 years he calls every few months and tells me he still loves me, he'll never feel for her the way he feels about me and would leave his wife if it wasn't for his children but he has to be there for them. I hadn't seen him for about 5 years until just recently and when we met up and we had such a great time while she was out of town and connected again. We didn't have sex or anything but just talking for hours and hours on the phone, hanging out at his house and cuddling, holding and talking to him for hours just brought up old feelings and memories and I haven't been able to stop thinking of him and I acutally love him more now than ever and it's killing me. I would appreciate any advice on this and if you think I should just avoid him alltogether the next time he calls or if there is a possibility I could have a chance. Thanks, Melissa
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female
reader, Farris  +, writes (28 February 2007):
 Tell him to make up his mind. He either wants to be with his wife or he wants to be with you. He can't have both.
I know it's difficult, but even if he says he wants you yet won't leave his wife because of the children, you have to walk away. He moved on enough with his life to get married and have children... He should give you the same opportunity.
You will never be happy being his bit on the side, no matter how much you love him, and he will never give you the attention you deserve if he's still with his wife.
It's a sucky situation, but you should probably just move on and not contact him anymore.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (28 February 2007):
 Dear Melissa
this man might be the love of your life but surely you are not his. in my opinion he had weighed the two of you and she is the one he had chosen to prove that he cheated on her with you before and will still continue doing that if you let him.
i say run for dear life as fast as you can, this man will never love you the way you deserve to be loved. he is a selfish bastard who has no respect for you let alone his wife. if you were his true love as he said he wouldnt have cheated on her with u because you two wouldnt have brokenup at all. and if that was the case he would have brokenup the engagement to be with the love of his life.
the children thing my dear is the oldest trick in the book to keep a naive lover on the side. so dont be deceived forget him and open your heart to other opportunities he is just wasting your time. you are still very young to appear desperate for him. good luck
Jovial
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