A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need you to please tell me what happened here:Last year, I became really good friends with a boy in my choir. We spent one whole night together for a feild trip and, suddenly, we became really close. He had such a fun, cute, personality and didn't care so much what people thought. He was his own person and very genuine and honest. We would call or text each other every night and each conversation had deep meaning. I really felt like I could tell him everything and he, apparentley, felt the same as he text me one night saying, "Let's make a promise: we should always tell the truth to eachother" and I agreed. So we did. We kept no secrets and i could always count on him and he could always count on me. He belived in my dreams and I believed in his. We had so much fun and, somehow always ended up together, teasing each other and hanging out. One night he asked me, "Am I your best friend?" I should have said yes, but i guess I didn't know it til he was gone because, I said, "No, but you're my best guy friend." But really, he was a better friend to me than anybody else ever has been or will be.Another time, we talked about how we've been losing our friends to the crowd, that they were changing and giving into peer pressure. Then he made me promise that we should never forget who our true friends are. I haven't. It's stilll him.But this year, he dropped out of choir so, we had no classes together. And suddenly he began to act different because he was surrounded by the "popular" kids. I felt like he was breaking a promise and giving into the peer pressure to be fake. he lost who he was and almost stopped talking to me altogether. Then, I caught him one last time by writing him a letter for his birthday. It was about how we met and why he's my best friend (I also gave him chocolate ;P). And it was all true and he knew it so it was fine. Until he sincerely thanked me for the gift and promised me a present that i never recieved. I gave up asking about it. He's become madly in love with the fakest girl in our school and I don't text him anymore because they become one way conversations. Meaningless. I don't even try to talk to him anymore because I don't even know anything about him or who he's pretending to be. The only hope I have left that he's still there is how he looks at me. Whenever I pass him, our eyes meet and I can feel that he wants to say something, that he still feels something too... Our eyes meet and we share the same pain... but, neither of us will say anything. I mean, haven't I tried enough?Just, please, tell me what went wrong and what I should do because, if you couldn't tell, I love him like crazzy and miss him so much!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (29 May 2012):
 It's unfortunate, but it will happen all throughout your life. We grow apart from friends due to chosen lifestyles, lose touch with them when life happens, etc.
BUT you will find those rare friends who are worth hanging onto as the years go by.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the help. I guess it's unanimous, then. I've decided to let him go. Friday was the last day of school, so I decided to reach out one last time and in his yearbook, simply, I wrote, "Michael, I missed you this year. Text Me?" and I signed my name. That's it I guess. And I'm done worrying. If he texts me, Great! But, Thanks to you guys, I'm gonna try to free him from my mind for the rest of the summer. The wieghts are already off my shoulders :)
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (28 May 2012):
 Friends often outgrow one another as life moves forward and it doesn't always leave us with a positive view of the friends we thought would be there no matter what.
It definitely sounds to me as though you have more than friendly feelings towards him and I wonder if he moved on because he felt a similar way but nothing was happening so he didn't want to deal with it?
I don't know, I am just guessing, but the long and the short of it is that life is entirely too short and if you are about to lose this friendship all together then you may as well go out with fireworks - I suggest sitting down and really thinking about how you feel about him and put it all on paper and let him know. If he isn't interested at all you can move on and enjoy your life knowing you tried. If you don't let him know how you feel and want to move on without taking that road then you will need to try and get a grasp on the situation and let him go completely.
The saying is true that if they are good friends they will come back to you - I really don't think you went wrong anywhere, I just think life took him in a little bit of a different direction.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2012): The person above me got it right. It's a harsh way to put it, but friends come and go all the time... forget about him. You did your best, you gave him that letter. He's not worth the attention or the affection if he's distancing himself from you. Trust me, I went through something similar (only my guy was worse) and I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting him back into my life.
Forget this before it gets too complicated. Don't miss out on the millions of people out there with better friend potential than him. I know it hurts, but it WILL heal. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 May 2012):
You know what has happened with him. He has succumbed to the popular kids and are now their friend. Unfortunately, he threw your friendship under the bus and isn't really even your friend anymore.
You've done what you could. HE should be the one apologizing to you and how he's treated you. BUT, that seems as if it's not going to happen. You can't make him be friends with you. The friendship appears to be over.
NOW, the problem with you..is that you've developed more than friendly feelings for him. Maybe you could still tell him how you truly feel about him. Then again, I doubt it will make a difference since he's too concerned about staying on top of the high school caste system.
Honestly, I'd cut my losses and make new friends. For the rest of your life, friends will come and go.
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