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female
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anonymous
writes: My live in boyfriend of nearly 6 years has just got back from a weekend away and says he wants to end our relationship because he doesn't think he makes me happy. Before he went we were happily making lots of exciting plans for the future so I'm guessing he's got a little scared (too much too soon). He comes from a very complicated family background where his father and then mother walked out and now his grandparents are moving away too. I love him so much but don't know what to do to sort this out? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): sorry but if that was me i would be thinking that its guilt working on him, could he may have cheated when he was away for the weekend?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): My boyfriend and I were together for 8 months... we were always together. Not only was he my best friend but the love of my life. The more time we spent, I noticed that he was insecure... I could see he needed someone to tell him often that they loved him etc. So I did. I spent most of my time with him, but when I did something on my own- dinner with friends etc. he would get upset... especially if we wanted to go to a sports bar etc. He is jealous... and said he did not like me going to happy hours etc.
So- this went on for about 2 months--- where I tried to keep my life and be with him. Finally, one night I went to dinner and out with my best friend and he freaked out. I told him his behavior was over-the-top... and I didn't want to deal with this problem anymore. I am so in love, so happy when we are together... I could not have been more excited to run home to him after work... and would rather be with him than my friends--- but I felt it was important to keep my outside relationships too. I broke up with him and said it was not working if he did not trust me.
I got all my stuff out of his house and left and we said good bye.
He called two nights later and said this was not my fault and he loved me... he drove over my house and we talked for awhile. I said that I loved him. The following day, he said he needed his space- that we were not meant to be... and he wanted to take a break for now.
I wanted him to say- I'll work on it- and I cannot live without you. He did the opposite. I made a commitment to myself not to call or contact him--- even though I feel like I cannot breathe, eat, and cannot stop thinking of him.
A few days later, he called--- at 1:30 am in the morning and said- he needed to know I was ok- and hear my voice--- that he felt lost and could not stop thinking of me.
I tried to keep the converstaion light and not serious. We talked for 2 1/2 hours. I love him and cannot imagine my life without him in it... yet he was so insecure that he was trying to control when I was not with him...
I am so scared--- to not be with him, yet--- I don't want to wait to have my heart broken all over again--- even though I ended it- I did not want it to be over--- I love him... so I am not sure what to do... do I call him--- do I wait--- I am lost. Please any adive would help... thanks!
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female
reader, bridget +, writes (10 April 2006):
 Hey there pet..
I hope that I am able to help you a bit.
Well, I think thata you really need to sit him down and make him see what he would be giving up on if he did this and choose this path..
You need to find out if something happened when he was away for the weekend and if someone has provoked his plans with you..
I think the female anon ahs a point aswell a very valuable one at that..
If you do love him then please do let him know and maybe there might be light for you both if he took a break..
Good Luck
Jacqueline
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2006): Take the heat out of the situation by letting him go but making sure that he knows you love him? Then he could come back. Perhaps he has felt a burst of freedom while away and the contrast between that and your plans together has made him want a break. The facts of his past are bound to have affected him but he was happy to be with you all this time so he must be fond of you. My ex husband had a very problematic childhood which made our relationship dysfunctional and all his subsequent ones as well. He is fond of me, but he could not have made me happy because of this pent up anger inside him. If he does not want to be with you he is not good enough for you at the moment. Things can change, I hope that you see a clear path soon.
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