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He was all over me, I couldn't go through with it, he called me a lesbian and left.

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am totally inexperienced but have been curious for about a year and a half. Before that time I did not know much about my body and had never dated. I thought I was ready to fulfill my dream of sex. I got a date with a fraternity guy who is very handsome. He invited me to a dance and took me to a dinner first. He bought me an orchid and we had lobster and a few mixed drinks (something else new to me) Yes I know I am too young for alcohol but this was a nice place and he knew the waiter.

He spent a lot of money on me. I wore my high school prom dress from last year and bought new bra, under pants and a girdle at Victorias because lately I am getting heavy in the butt. I also bought condoms, also my first! We did not stay long at the dance because I was anxious for the big event. At his place I took off my dress and hung it in his closet. I then took off my bra and we kissed much and he caressed me well. I thought I was doing well and I was thoroughly aroused but when he started to take off my girdle for ssome unexplained reason I started to cry. I know it sounds silly but I felt so dirty and ashamed. He was thoroughly disgusted calling me a lesbian and a tease and I left to walk home several blocks before getting a cab.

I wonder if this is just a quirk or will it keep happening. I have no other episode planned.

View related questions: bra , condom, lesbian, money

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (28 February 2009):

tux agony auntPerhaps this experience should make you realize that you should slow down on your dream to have sex. What this guy did was jerkish. Did you really want to lose your virginity to him?

I think you are better off waiting for your special guy, when that day comes, you will be more ready and not feel that way.. and if you do still feel that way, he'd still stay by your side until you feel ready for it.

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A male reader, Ken331 United States +, writes (28 February 2009):

Be thankful you didn't lose your virginity to HIM! He is simply inconsiderate and idiotic. Find a great guy who'll understand you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009):

Perhaps you felt deep down that he wasn't the right guy lose your virginity to? Losing your virginity is a big thing, and not something to lose to just anyone. Don't be in any rush to have sex, you want it to be a positive experience and not one you will regret forever. When the right guy comes along everything with fall into place, i promise.

and be thankful you didn't sleep with that guy, he sounds like a jerk.

good luck !

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A female reader, Carrot2000 United States +, writes (28 February 2009):

Carrot2000 agony auntThis guy is a jerk. Be glad that you didn't sleep with him.

Your reaction may be a response to a religious upbringing that teaches you sex is wrong. Even more seriously, it may be a response to a history of sexual abuse. I don't know if either of these apply to you, but you may want to seek counseling to get to the root of why you feel dirty or ashamed about sex.

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