A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello to all of you and thank you very much for your answers. Well, my problem is that I'm actually going out with a person who is not very affectionate with me. We are still early in our relationship and we would not have sex for many days. This situation does not seem to bother him. Moreover, he's not the affectionate type. There is practically no fondling between us. Maybe, it's his way of lving a person, I really don't know. The problem is that I really love it when my partner is affectionate with me, caresses me, holds me in his arms from times to times, touches me and kiss me. I would like to bring these issues up but I don't think it will change anything. And he has already told me that he wants our relationship to last. But I can't see myself with a person who is so poor on giving affection. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (17 November 2012):
 It sounds like you have answered your question yourself.
You can't see yourself with a guy who doesn't show affection and yet at the early stages of your relationship, when in theory you shouldn't be able to keep your hands off one another, your boyfriend is cold and aloof.
While he wants the relationship to last, he doesn't seem capable of giving and needing affection. It sounds like he is hoping you'll make a consolation or compromise to keep it going.
I think before you proceed much further that you ask yourself if you are willing to make this consolation. I can pretty much guarantee that he isn't going to change any time soon unless you tell him that this problem is a deal breaker. If you matter that much to him, he'll at least make an effort. However, physical love is something that is very hard to fake and soon enough you'll be able to tell whether he is really into you -- or not.
Eddie
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