A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I am so confused and don't know what to do. To start off I'm almost 7 months pregnant and am having issues with my bf. Our relationship has changed since we have been together first off we bearly ever have sex. When I say something about this to my bf he just says that its because he is stressed because of bills and to tired from work. Well he just got a new job where he will be making a lot more plus lot of overtime cuz he works long hours. He seems happier but I'm not he says that him getting this new job has taken a lot off stress off him. But I'm not happy with it because I hardly get to see and all his free time he spends with his friends. He will go out ever night after he comes home and stay out til around 4 and he has to wake up around 5. And he said another reason that he is happy is because he is finally gonna make enough for us to get married and I wanted to married him before but I told him that right now it wouldn't be a good idea because we are not ready to get married. Idk if I am just over emotional because I'm prego or what? But he says the only reason he took the job was so we could have a good future together and that he works hard for me and the baby but I don't believe him because he never wants to spend anytime with me. So I just need ya's input what would you do? And I have tried talking to him but haven't really found the time I see him maybe about an hour a day! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): First off you are stupid for wanting to be married so young, especially to a man who obviously still wants to live his life
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 I am glad to hear you are not marrying right now. Although lots of people do marry when there is a baby on the way that is never a good reason. Basically having a baby is a huge change in your life at any age - let alone a young age! With fatherhood looming on the horizon, your BF maybe just letting off steam and it seems like he is taking his financial responsibilities seriously by working etc. However, if he doesn't get sleep then it will creep up on his health and being a good father requires lots of energy and being there for the child. When the baby comes along then you will both be exhausted as newborns are hard-work. If you think you don't have time to speak together now, it will not improve when there is a baby to take of as well. I hope you have supportive family or friends to help out with the child. I also think that once the baby comes along your partner may settle down and hopefully his social life will take a back-burner to family life. As for your sex life, you have to aware that many men are reluctant to get intimate with their partners in late pregnancy for fear of hurting the baby. After the baby comes along, you will be glad he is not a sex maniac as your body and sex-drive will probably change (not least down to sleepless nights). I am not saying this in a negative way - you will have a lovely baby and family life to look forward to - but priorities just change when you have a child. If his lifestyle does not change after the baby comes along then you need to evaluate your relationship and future together. However, for now give him a chance to be a good Dad and see what happens.
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