A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey everyone......my boyfriend and i have been together for more than a year now. six months into dating we started making plans about getting married and having children right after getting married. but suddenly my boyfriend stopped talking about it.he says he is financially unstable right now. and we can only get married in 2019 when he finally gets his medical degree. he has a full time job at the moment but he is likely to get fired any time from now because of being in school full time.i on the other hand i am financially stable. i have a full time job and some money in savings. i want to settle down and i don't want to wait.he is 29 and i am 28 this year by the way. i don't want to wait anymore.he has suggested that we have a baby now and the get married later in 2019 after he finishes school. i don't want to have a baby before i get married. there is no guarantee that he will marry me after waiting for four years.and the last thing i want is to waste my time. and i don't want to end up being a single mom.i feel so disappointed right now. according to our earlier plans we would have gotten married this year in June. but it turns out my boyfriend never made any concrete plans towards that. he has no money saved up. and he didn't tell me that our plans have changed. i am only finding out now because i started getting suspicious so i confronted him.i hate the thought of starting over again. i have done that so many times. but i also hate the thought of waiting for four more years. if i didn't love him it would have been easier to leave him.i hate this....am in a dilemma here. need some advice.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 January 2016):
 If you are not wanting to have a baby outside off marriage then tell him this. I can understand that weddings can be expensive and stressful, but you could both have a simple gathering as well and make it cheap. Its about how much you love one another not how much it will cost. You need to just tell him you don't want to wait and you don't want a child until you are married and see what he has to say.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 January 2016):
 If he can't afford to get married then he most definitely cannot afford to have a baby.
You don't have to have a lavish wedding. You could keep it simple, and inexpensive but tasteful.
I'm afraid I'm with you on this one. I don't see that there is anything more to talk about. He's not making long term plans but he wants you to make a life time commitment.
No thanks.
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