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female
,
*olcesoprano
writes: After seven years together, we decided to take time apart this summer- and to NOT see other people but think about US. I found out he was having sex with a 44 year old woman with two kids in July. I was sad for a few weeks, but then I started to forgive him because he was remorseful and said he wanted to make it work. He began attending church services with me and everything. He and I have a very strong bond, through everything we still love each other very much. I thought we were going to take the summer to figure things out - turns out he just "let it happen" with another woman from his work (14 years older than him, 18 older than me). He said it was meaningless and that he didn't have any feelings for her. I believe him, but then last weekend I saw a message on his phone to her saying "Hi Michelle, any chance of us getting together this weekend." And then I listened to his voicemail, and she had called him back. AND - I looked at his phone bill - calls to her every few days. I confronted him about it but he says he was just talking to her because she was threatening to get him fired at work,a nd that they were doing "restructuring" and he wanted to calm things down with her (she was pissed off because I sent her an insulting email that questioned her morality). Again, I started to believe him, but now I'm not so sure. I asked him to show me his bank statement to prove he wasn't in her town this past month but he got really upset and refused. I don't know what to do....can I really believe him in the face of all this? I know how much money he spends - had he been there, he would have bought something - gas, coffee, dinner, drinks (in her town). I am torn apart. I want to work it out but I need to know for sure. Any advice or opinions are greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, XxTashaxX +, writes (31 August 2006):
 It seems to me as you love this man very much. the only advice i can give to you is to let him go. hes cheated on you once he will do it again. its obvious that this man can not be trusted and has no respect for you, why he would not of lied to you.
you can do better than this man, find someone else how will respect you with the respect you deserve.
good luckxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): Dump him. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): This man is telling you a pack of lies. Clearly, he WANTED to have sex with this other woman. If he was serious about working things out with you, he would not have become involved with her!
Sorry, but you don't need him in your life!
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Loose him....he is playing around,forget about proof with bank statements,the fact that you heard his telephone conversation and voice mail proves that he is seeing another woman.Ditch him.
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Show him the door. You obviously don't trust him as you've resorted to snooping and that's not a good place to be. He's given you good reason to mistrust though so just you keep on listening to that gut feeling. Whether he's cheating or not, the intent does seem to be there. Even if he denies this, he's having contact with females behind your back, why would he do that if there was nothing to worry about? If he says it's because he knows you'd go mad or be upset because of the first woman you know about, that's crap. It's convenient for him to turn it on to you, but after he cheated, he shouldn't be making new female friends if he's trying to prove he's trustworthy.
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