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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Men help me out. I have been pursued by a man whom I love to be with. We went out several times and are compatible and have great communication: honest, open, and trusting. We even discuss disagreements with respect for the other's feelings and position. A huge sign of our compatibility is we call the other person on everything: mistakes, inconsistencies, all that, and clear stuff right away. It's great.So here's the hitch: he wants to have sex to see what I'm like. He said we should have had sex already as a natural course, like, seriously, on the second date. And here's the problem: he sees other women and has sex with them on the first and/or second date. So I said to him, "Would you want to sleep with me if I have your sex habits and sex history?"He said, "Well, I guess not."So you see the deal?He says he wants a relationship and so far I'm his favorite of his black book. I feel like he won't proceed unless we have sex and I won't proceed unless we have an exclusive relationship. Crazy huh. Your thoughts? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Ignorance  +, writes (10 May 2009):
You are his favorite on his black book??? Whaat? So his is doing you a favor by being with you so he wants you to have sex as a return. That's what's all this is being translated in my mind. That's not good foundation for a healthy relationship. Show some self respect and don't give in. If you have the guts leave him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): Thanks - I appreciate the input.
A vital point: when we first dated, I was separated. Then reconciled with my husband and that's when he dropped out saying he wasn't interested in pursuing me if I was in a relationship. The reconciliation failed and we permanently split up. This new man came around asking if we could visit about seeing each other since I'm single. But has not indicated he would see me exclusively if we started a sexual relationship
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 You are the one in love with him, not me. That means I don't see him through rose-colored glasses and see a prick.
Double standards, he has them. He seems to want a virginal girl but also try her out before buying. Right...
He doesn't respect you or women in general and if you proceed you are likely to be used just as all those other women. Even if he chooses you, and what an honor that would be, what makes you think his attitude will change?
The world would be a much happier place if only people would be willing to accept that sometimes their heart sends them in the wrong direction and ignore it. Sure you love him, but what will it lead to? You have a choice, a broken heart and your dignity or follow your heart and end up with a guy who sees women as little mor then sex objects.
As the first poster said, how many women has he used those lines on?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): I wonder, is it possible that he gets so many other women into bed on the first and second dates by using the same "favorite" line on them?
Of course it is. Stay away from this player.
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