A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some help, I am a twenty six year old virgin, there is a guy at work whom I have been flirting with for about a year, he has said to me that on the next night out we should get it on back at his. I am thinking wow because he is gorgeous and I have liked him for ages, but then as I have never been with a guy I am a bit nervous, I know he doesn't want anything serious but he says he is keen to find someone and that's ok but I don't want him to think I am a slapper (funny I now, as I am a virgin). He knows I am shy but I don't think he knows that I have never been with a guy and that to me a kiss and a hug is quite a huge thing, what can I do, I don't want to push him away, I have about three weeks before the night out.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): Hi,I'm old enough to have sex and I never had .I don't even know if I should tell the guy I'm with I'm a virgin because when you do tell them they act different cause it has happened to me.After you tell a guy you a virgin they get on some I love your virginity not you type of thing and they just want to get in your pants not your heart.The guy I'm with think I'm experince which I'm not(virgin here) and I like how he is with me now.I know if I go telling him he's attitude will change and I just want him to keep being himself with me like he is doing now.
Well I hope u can make a good choice whether you tell him or not that you are a virgin.Just get to know him some more and if you still fell like he is worth giving up your viginity then go ahead.Your are grown enough to make the right choice, No one can do it for you.If you do decide to have sex with him tell him your a virgin because I have heard it hurts and its worse if the guy don't kno because he'll just do to pleaz himself and he won't know he will have to treat you gentle and with care.I'm sure you want a guy who will be there for you and be with you for a while not just for pleasure on a bed once in a while.
No lie to be honest of what you wrote it sound like he is all about sex because he was talking about having sex on the second date.(getting it on)"come on its making love not just fucking and going.That's just my thought.
Take care and be careful you sound like a women with the hope of finding true love not just lossing your virginty and having sex and bye you,You go your way I go mine type of thing.
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (23 January 2009):
just ask yourself if you want your first time to be with some guy who "wants to get it on" or with someone who really cares for you.
it sounds like he just wants sex and not much else. i'd becareful with him. there is nothing worse then waking up to find that he has left you cab fare and a thank u note.lol. just becareful.
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A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Hi there, my thought is that your firat time with a gentleman, notice I said gentleman not just a guy, because your first encounter with sex is not going to be some mindblowing, skyrocketing situation. If you have not ever been with a man, it is a bit painful, physically, it gets better as you move on, but you need someone who is going to be sensitive to the situation. Men are sometimes skeptical about being the first one, some consider it a big deal to be the first, others perfer experience. You, first of all need to take it at your own pace, by that I mean, get to know this man, and if he wants to rush, you must make him understand that you want to take it a bit slower, to get to be friends and then go from there. At some point, I think you need to tell him that you are a virgin, so that he will realize how he should behave, as it will be your first time, if you decide you want to have sex with him, if you decide, not him. You don't have to be overly worried, but I would try to choose wisely for your first encounter. You don't want this to be a "wham, bam, thank you mam" kind of situation, at least I wouldn't. The first night with him would be nice if he would just hold you, and not have sex. I am sure that is not his idea of a good time, but that is a part of getting to know him and having good communication. Do not be afraid of losing him or something, because you want something different, if you do, if he is going to leave, he was going to leave anyway and you should realize that. Get to know him, as I said and decide, will this be the man who will be the first, very important in my mind. If you decide to have sex with him, for the first time, I would invest in some kind of lubricant to make it a bit easier. Also I don't want to be more personally involved than I should, but please consider a condom, especially in today's world. You have no control over where he has been or the others in his life, but you do have control over your body and your life, Aids is incurable at this point. Just a thought. Stay in touch and be good to yourself, this is your life, try to make choices that are good for you, not everyone else. Take care.
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