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female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,Recently, my crush told me that there's no hope of us ever being together (not in so many words...I just read between the lines of his answer to the question, "Why can't we be together?" and figured out that that's basically what he meant). He said he wants to concentrate on his grades and not be tied down by any relationships. Then he said, "We're friends...ain't that enough?" and I told him, "Yeah...I guess it is."Well, the thing is, sometimes he doesn't really ACT like we're friends. I mean, he can just seem so...distant...when I try to talk to him sometimes. And when we're in a crowd, he kind of ignores me. If he really calls us friends, why doesn't he act like it more?Sarah
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): Hard to say Sarah, but being a guy's friend makes you closer than you realize to maybe someday being his wife...he sounds like he is a pretty serious level headed fellow and he wants to get through school before getting all committed to a woman which there is nothing wrong with.
If he is spending time with you then he cares about you, and if he ignores you when out in public, perhaps he is just watching and admiring you when you aren't looking, I don't know I am not there.
But, I would suggest you stop asking him (which is pressuring him) how he feels about you, be less available and be sure to date other men if he is just your friend, when he sees you aren't waiting around for his calls, he may have more passion for you and step it up a bit, and if he doesn't you are out having fun and leaving your options open to another relationship with a guy who shares your feelings and wants a romance.
Friendship is the best basis for a true romance, so I guess I am saying don't give up too early unless you want to.
A
female
reader, xNatx +, writes (31 December 2006):
 Hey Sarah, im sorry to hear that things couldnt work out between you two, but the reason he might be being distant is he could be worried that you might still want to be more than just friends and is trying to steer clear until he knows for deffinate that you do just want to be friends. You may just be happy about being friends but maybe he doesn't no that if he doesnt talk to you face to face try giving him a ring one evening or sending a text sometime just to tel him how you feel and that you are happy being friends, but hes got to make the effort as well as you! Hope this helps.
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