A
female
age
36-40,
*achakaRoni
writes:I want to know when it all went wrong. I started seeing this guy february 2006 and we had been seeing each other for 2 months and he said that it wasnt serious and that we werent going out and didnt see me regularly, so i started seeing another guy in May 2006 for a month. and then I started seeing him again and it was just casual to start and until I started to get strong feelings for him. but he said nothing wud come of it coz he didnt trust me to have a relationship with him. We still kept seeing each other though but in decemeber he stopped seeing me for a month and saw another girl. It really hurt me. was he doing it to get me back? but now Im away for a few months abroad and he said he wanted me to see other guys as in sexually and I said I didnt want to and didnt want him 2 either and he said " Its ur decision but we arent together so I think u shud" and I said what we were and he said we were friends with benefits and that if another girl came along we wud just be friends. I said that he wasnt satisfied with that when I went off with my ex so why shud I be if he does it and he went offline, pretty quickly after that. Was it my fault? His fault? or what? Coz Im totally confused and I really like him alot- even bordering on love.
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female
reader, Carina  +, writes (24 June 2007):
 I'm sure you know in your heart of hearts what's happening here. This guy is using you, even if he seems like your friend. He wants you around when he hasn't got someone else.
I think you should think of him only as a friend and go out with other people and have fun. If he's going to love you then it will happen. You're both very young and he's obviously not ready for a serious relationship. He's also trying to blame you. You can either choose to be his 'bit on the side' and suffer the heartbreak and hurt that will follow, or else decide you're worth more than that and move on. (If you have to keep in touch with him then keep it as a light friendship).
To be honest, I think you'll meet someone else who will appreciate you and make you feel good about yourself. Good luck!
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