A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner has asked for space to sort out his life, his business and his children. he wants to learn how to love himself and get his foundations right before he comes back to me, if he does. This was 6 weeks ago. We are both in our forties and have recently been divorced. We have been dating for over a year. He is unable to give me a timeframe when or if he wants to get back together. He said that he was happy with our relationship I am concerned he may be seeing other women but he said that this is not the case. I call and text him which he will respond to more as a friend. He very rarely calls or texts me. He says that this is because he does not want to lead me on. I want to meet him to talk about this which he refuses to do. I am keeping myself busy but this situation is really getting me down as I just cant see any hope.
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 I think you should leave him alone with his space to work out his issues. Analisa is right, he will be no good in this relationship not loving himself. He needs to be whole to contribute. Him saying he wont contact you as that would lead you on is kind of a cop out. He's also sending you mixed signals-the relationship is good but he's not good with the relationship-can't have both. IE: The relationship is NOT working for him right now. He's allowing you to do all the work but then just being cool about your contact. So, leave him alone. Just stop contacting him.
Part 2. FinnMcCool has a point but my experience has been that yes, there is something wrong with the relationship to have caused him to need his space. If you both are clean out of a divorce, then it is possible he didn't mend properly and is now taking the time to do so. I don't want to give you false hope but I am aware of people who re-evaluate things and do come back. However, since you are going to allow him his space, I think it is important for you to think like you are single. Go out and have some fun with your girlfriends and if you meet a good looking man you want to date, go for it. You really have to get your head around the fact that right now, you're available. Do not wait around for him. He may never call you again and I think the only way to get over this is to think that he wont.
I will share with you that I am in a similar position, waiting for the guy I really like to "go through his issues". It's been 5 weeks for me but we weren't in a solid relationship just yet. I am going out with friends and I am actually thinking about dating a couple of guys. I'm not ready for anything serious and neither are you. To be honest, the only way to get through this was to do exactally what I am telling you to do and also to start dating again.
Try not to let this get you down although I know it will. Let us know how it goes.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 His system is allergic to you and you need to allow him to get rid of them before he can come back to you.
When he is ready , he will call you .
If you call him , his allergic will never get cured.
His allergic may kill him or maim him and he won't be the same as before.
You need to have other plans on standby.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): It has been my experience that when a person in a relationship says they "need some space", it should read: "Our relationship is stale, I've had enough, I want to move on, possibly already found someone else etc. but am too much of a bloody coward to tell you so." It is the easy route for them, hoping that you too will become fed up with them and let the relationship drop. But then, that's just my experience and I hope for your sake I am wrong though I very much doubt it. I would try moving on myself and if that triggers a hurt reaction from him and he definitely seems to have come round, then I AM wrong! Sorry and good luck.
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